| Subject: Re: Man wanted Episode III |
Author:
Bewitched
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Date Posted: 19:50:38 12/13/07 Thu
Author Host/IP: r220-101-162-21.cpe.unwired.net.au/220.101.162.21
In reply to:
Bewitched
's message, "Re: Man wanted Episode II" on 19:58:08 12/12/07 Wed
A Klang Apek businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his much younger wife was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex drive, so he thought he'd buy her a little something to keep her occupied while he was gone.
He went to a store in Eng Ann Estate that sold sex aids & toys and started looking around. He was browsing through the dildos looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter and explained his situation.
The old man said, "Well, we have vibrating dildos, special attachments, Tongkat Ali permanent extensions and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied except---" and he stopped.
"Except what?" the Apek asked.
"Nothing, nothing."
"C'mon, tell me! I need something!"
"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo Penis."
"So what's up with this Voodoo Penis?" the businessman asked.
The old man reached under the counter and pulled out a very old wooden box, with carvings of strange symbols and erotic images.
He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo.
The Klangite laughed, and said "Apa ini - it looks like every other dildo in this shop!"
The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."
He pointed to a door and said, "Voodoo Penis, the door."
The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with the vibrations.... so much so that a crack began to form down the middle.
Before the door split, the old man said "Voodoo Penis, return to box!"
The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box and lay there quiet once more.
"I'll take it!" said the businessman.
The Apek took it home to his young wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo Penis, my chee bai."
After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny and remembered the Voodoo Penis.... She undressed, opened the box and said, "Voodoo Penis, my chee bai!"
The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping.
It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she'd ever experienced before. After three mind-shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked.
Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut or call it off.
Worried, she decided to go to the Assunta hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the Federal Highway.
A Highway Patrol policeman saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and if she was on the ganja or had been on the XO too much?
Gasping and twitching, she explained, "I haven't had anything to smoke or drink, Tuan. You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my ahh... pussy and it won't stop screwing me!"
The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and in an arrogant voice replied, "Yeah, betul lah... Voodoo Penis, my ass."
The rest is Malaysian history.
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