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Date Posted: 10:05:21 02/09/03 Sun
Author: TJ Raven
Subject: Stray Dogs Are No Where Near Chinese Restaurants

*The scene opens in a dimly lit hotel room, in a half seated, half lying down position is TJ Raven, his long hair is tied back behind him, his beard is growing in quite thick from not shaving in the past 3 weeks. He dressing in a pair of grey sweat pants and socks, nothing more. As he sits staring at the TV he notices the camera and mutes the TV. Lighting a cigarette he looks to the camera and starts to speak*



TJ: You know I've been here in China less than a day, but it seems I'm a star here. Everyone asks me, what was it like busting Brett Healey open with a chair? or, What is this mystery match you have planned for Electromania 4? Or just random pieces of conversation. It got so bad I had to lock myself away in my hotel room for the evening. Order up some room service, and just vegetate.



*Knock at the door*



TJ: Come in.



*A chinese gentleman dressd in a purple silk hotel suit wheels a room service cart in and says in a thick accent "your food here, sir"



TJ: Ah good, my food is here.

*Suddenly the room service guy gets very excited and starts to dance around like he has to pee or something*



TJ: Something wrong there, Chief?



RSG: I know you, you're Sean Wallace. My sister, she had the biggest crush on you back when you were in the Canvas Battlefield, she still has your poster up in her bedroom. Hey remember that match you had with Raputa DaBeauta and Postman. 5 table elimination match, wow!



*Raising an eyebrow at the mention of this match*TJ: Yeah, I remember it. I did lose that match though. Now what's your name, Chief?



RSG: My name is Go-Goo.



TJ: Goku eh? well that's a inte....



Go-Goo: No, my name is Go-Goo.



TJ: Right, that's what I said. Goku. So you remember me back from Canvas Battlefield eh?



Go-Goo:Oh Yeah. Hey remember that one match you had with Suicide Soldier, the Suicide Special.



TJ: Ahh eh uh, Shut the &%#$ up Goku. NEVER MENTION THAT MATCH AGAIN!!!!



Go-Goo: Sure, but I don't see what the big deal is.



TJ: THE BIG DEAL IS I HAVE A SUICIDE SPECIAL MATCH AT ELECTROMANIA 4, AND I DON'T WANT THE IDIOT IN THE MATCH TO KNOW THE STIPULATIONS YET!!!



Go-Goo: But you already know the stipulations.



TJ: Well of course I know the.... hey, wait, did you just call me an idiot?



Go-Goo: No.



TJ: No, I think you did. You just called me an idiot.



Go-Goo: I did not. But you are still in westling? I didn't know that.



TJ: Yes, Goku. I'm still in wrestling. In fact I have a tag team match... again *Rolls eyes* coming up this Wednesday. Me and a guy named Flabulas against 2 nobodies named Brett Healey and John Breastwista or something like that.



*Eyes widen in excitement*Go-Goo: You mean Diamond Brett Healey? I know about him. I bought his book.



TJ: Oh so you're the one. Well sorry but I gotta collapse your hero's skull in a couple days. He's worried about making it to his 3 matches at Electromania 4, he should be worried about surviving until Thursday.



G0-Goo: Youcan't hurt Brett Healey. I'll use my Jedi mind powers.



TJ: You know Goku, you're really becoming annoying. Leave now before I regret something.



Go-Goo: You can't hurt me. I'll use my forcefield.



*Go-Goo holds his hands up in a strange pose as TJ stands up from his bed.*



TJ: What in God's name are you doing?



Go-Goo: I'm using my forcefield. Now you're powerless before me. *Evil laughter*



*TJ rolls his eyes and walks up to Go-Goo, grabs him by the collar of his cheap purple suit and punches him in the face three times really quickly. Picks Go-Goo up by the back of his shirt and throws him out into the hall like a sack of potatos. Turns around and looking back into his room notices.*



TJ: Dammit! Now my food is cold. Oh that just pisses me off. Okay now I gotta call the front desk but first...



*TJ stares directly at the camera as a wickedly sadistic smile comes across his face*



Brett, I remember back when I first showed up here in the CWF you said
"Quote the Raven, nevermore", well I say &%$# that. It should be;

watch you head bounce off the floor, forevermore

Lying in a pool of blood like a gang-raped whore.

You talk about America is horrible and you're the best

but facts are you're simply looking for a kangaroo to molest.



Do not underestimate me Healey, or it will be you the last mistake you ever make.



*FTB*



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