Who Wants To Be A Millionaire! -- CWF Glory Board

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Date Posted: 02:53:14 03/17/03 Mon
Author: Diamond Brett Healey
Subject: Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!

*Healey is seen sitting on a couch in a room where there are a few other people sitting around. He is wearing his purple suit and brushing his arms down and making sure he looks neat, then he notices the camera and begins to talk.*

�Oh hi there, I�m hear is the waiting room of the show �Who Wants To Be A Millionaire� celebrity special. After my magnificent performance at Electromania, witch has now started my path to become a millionaire, I though that it would be just super if I could share some of my glory and stardom with a very special charity when I win one million dollars tonight��

*A man with a head set on comes into the room and addresses the people.*

Man: �Five minutes people!�

*The man walks off, then Healey continues.*

�Well before I was rudely interrupted, tonight on celebrity millionaire, we have to chose a charity to play for, I have a very special one in mind and I have elected my self to win as much money as possible for this charity. I have a PHD in economics, physics, chemistry and history, I feel that I have a great range of intelligence for a game show like this.�

*Healey looks down at his expensive watch.*

�Ooo, looks like its almost time. But while I�m hear with all these other celebrities, I think I might catch up with my old friend��

*Healey looks around the room and cant notice anyone, then he looks at the old man next to him and smiles and shakes his hand.*

�Bob Barker! Hey I haven�t seen you in years, how are feeling old man� I mean old geezer� I-I mean shriveled up piece of� I mean��

Barker: �Who the hell are you? Wait I know you, you�re that Brad Harley guy aren�t you?�

�Yeah that�s Diamond Brett Healey actually, so how�s my �Price is Right� veteran going? � Hey, say �C�mon down�, say it, you should be our ring announcer� You would say something like this, �And now, From Perth Australia, Diamond Brett Healey, C�mon Down!� That would be sooooo cool!�

*Healey holds up his hand waiting for a high five from Bob Barker but he ignores him.*

Barker: �I�ve never liked people like you, you show no respect for us older people who have given America years of entertainment, what have you got to show for your career? You�ve done nothing and yet your still bragging about your self!�

�Bragging? Hey, its not bragging if you can back it up Bob. I�m one half of the tag champs for god�s sake, and what are you? I�ll tell you what you are Bob, your nothing, you�ve never done anything historical, your most know for saying �The Price is Right!� any loser can say that. And another thing, how the hell did you get chosen for this show? You haven�t been on TV for years, your hardly a celebrity, plus you wont have a �phone a friend�, because you have no friends you old piece of crap!�

*Just as Barker is about to reply, the man with the head set comes back in the room.*

Man: �It�s time to go people, 30 seconds until we go on the air.�

*All the other celebrities stand up and walk off the picture out the door into the studio, Healey is still sitting down slouched in his chair until the man comes back and forces him up � The camera turns off and switches back on inside the �Who wants to be a millionaire� set. Regis Philbin is standing up and he waits until the crowd finish applauding.*

Philbin: �Hello America and welcome to another celebrity who wants to be a millionaire! Tonight we have celebrities such as Drew Cary!��

*Applause.*

Philbin: �Dana Carvey!��

*Applause.*

�Mike Myers!��

*Applause.*

�Bob Barker!��

*Applause.*

�And Diamond Brett Healey from the CWF!�

*The crowd stop applauding apart from one or two people clapping slowly to be nice� then that too stops.*

�Ok tonight each celebrity will be playing for a charity of his or her choice, so lets get to it, lets play Fastest Finger First. I will give you all a question with two relevant answers, the fastest person to get the answers right will be the first contestant. Ok here we go, everybody ready�? Ok good now��

*Healey interrupts.*

�Wait a Minute Reggie boy, so what do I press? One of these buttons in front of me, I don�t understand all this high tech gizmo stuff.�

�� We told you before the show what to do!�

�But I wasn�t paying attention then, I was thinking about my Suicide Special win.�

[Rolls Eyes] ��Ok I�ll tell you one more time, you press 2 buttons as fast as you can when I ask the question, either A B C or D. Its simple.�

�Any two buttons? Well that�s not too hard is it?�

�No not any two butt� um� yeah sure, any two buttons that�s all you have to do.� [Rolls Eyes]

*Healey smiles and gets ready.*

�Hears the question� �Witch two countries have both yellow and black on them?�

*The graphic of the question and 4 answers come up as all the contesters press the buttons.*

�A � Bahamas
B - Mexico
C � Belgium
D � Cuba�

*When all the contesters finish, Regis, gives the answer and another graphic of all the times that people got come up.*

�The answer is A - Bahamas and B - Belgium, and the fastest with 0.2 seconds was� Brett Healey!�

*Healey jumps up in excitement and walks to the hot seat as the audience slowly claps again. Once the music stops and Regis and Healey are both seated, Regis begins to talk to Healey.�

�So Brett Healey, it seemed like you didn�t know what you were doing, yet you got the answer in 0.2 seconds, how did you do it?�

�Well you told me to press any two buttons, so I just pressed A and C off the top of my head, and you said the fastest person gets the hot seat and I�m the fastest.�

��Ok then, well lets hope that strategy works for you this evening and if it can win your charity a million dollars, oh and by the way, who are you playing for tonight, who�s your chosen charity?�

�Well I long and deep about this, its for a very worthy course after all, so after a lot of thought, I have chosen the �Diamond Brett Healey Gym, Where Greatness Is Born� gym in New York, we need a new wrestling ring to work out in.�

�You�ve chosen your own gym as your charity? Well ok� lets just hope that you can win a lot of money for your� Charity��

�Yes indeed, I�m in an extremely focused state of mind tonight, I�ve cleared everything out of my head apart from my Electromania success and how I�m gonna beat Gyon at Glory of course.�

�Ok here we go, the first question for $100.�

*The audience applaud as the music plays then fades off.*

�The first question. �What is the chemical symbol for Iron?�
is it A � Ir
B � Ob
C � Fe
D � Io?

*Healey smiles and pretends to think hard, but then he looks up and answers the question.*

�Well as an A grade student in chemistry, I would have to say that Iron is C � Fe.�

�You did chemistry hey? Top student? Well that�s pretty impressive for a wrestler, so do you want to lock in C � Fe?

�Lock it in Reggie�

�Ok lock in C � Fe� Fe is correct for $100!�

*Healey takes a sip of water and waits for the next question.*

�Next, for $200. Who is the Vice President of the USA?
Is it A � Dick Cheney
B � Al Gore
C � Bill Clinton
D � Vince Russo?�

*Healey begins to look angry and then talks in an upset voice.*

�Hey that�s unfair! Your supposed to give easy questions at the start, how is someone like me suppose to know who the Vice Devil of America is? That�s pathetic, I demand you give me another question now!�

�Well, would you like to take a life line?�

�What would that do? The crowd are idiots, 50-50 wont help at all, and I have no American friends to call, what am I suppose to do Reggie?!�

�Well you could call that Kevin Williams wrestler of yours, he�s your only American friend.�

�Well no, I filled out my phone numbers before Electromania, so all I got is Hardcore Khan as a life line. By the way did you say I only have one American friend? No, I have two, you�ll all find out soon.�

�Oh so your making friends already, I guess we will wait and find out who he is, anyway, do you still want to use a life line?

�Well ok, just call Khan then!�

�Ok.�

�Regis waits until the beeping stops and an English accent of Hardcore Khan picks up the phone.�

Khan: �How dare you interrupt HCK one half of the CWF tag champs between 8 and 11 pm, that�s when I�m at my prime if you know what I mean.�

�Kahn, this is Regis Philbin from Who wants to be a millionaire! I have your friend Brett Healey hear playing for $200, and he needs your help, he will be then next voice you here, you have thirty seconds Brett, fire away.�

*A clock with 30 second ticking down appears as Healey begins to talk.*

�Hey Khan how�s it going mate?�

�Hey Brett, where gonna� I mean your gonna kick Gyon�s ass on Glory, you beat him last time, he doesn�t stand a chance!�

�Yeah, Gyon�s a joke if you ask me, he stole our titles and we�re gonna steal em� back. Oh by the way, would you happen to know who the Vice President of USA is? Its either Dick Cheney, Al Gore, Bill Clinton or Vince Russo?

�What kind of a question is that? Nobody knows who second most evil man in the world is.�

�Yeah it�s a pretty stupid question, so how much time left?�

*The time runs out and Healey looks angry.*

�Well time is up Brett, would you like to have a go at the answer anyway?�

�You could have told me how much time I had left, I hate this show anyway, just lock in� A � Dick Cheney, I don�t give a crap.�

�You want to lock in A � Dick Cheney? Ok then� For $200 the answer of Who is the Vice President of the USA� the answer is� A � Dick Cheney!�

*Healey jumps up in excitement.*

�Oh my god, I was right! See I�m so smart I can answer any question you ask me!�

�Ok then, next question for $300, How much in cents, is one US quarter worth?
Is it A � 10
B � 5
C � 50
D � 25�

�There you go again trying to get me with all your American questions, but luckily I know this one from living hear a while, so lock in D � 25 cents.�

�Locked in D � 25� 25 cents is correct for $300!�

�Next question for $500, What is another name for the Earths Crust?
A � Mesosphere
B � Lithosphere
C � Troposphere
D � Ionosphere?�

�Grrrrr! I have many PhD�s but none in geology or geography or what ever the hell this is� hmmm� just go with the 50 � 50, but I still cant believe your giving me hard questions for charity!�

�Ok, lets go with the 50-50, the computer will take away two incorrect answers, leaving us with two possible answers.�

*The graphic changes and now only Mesosphere and Lithosphere are left.*

�We are now left with A � Mesosphere and B � Lithosphere.�

�Well I could sit here and be dramatic like everyone else and say something like, �Well my heart says Mesosphere but my head says Lithosphere�, but that�s all a load of garbage, so I�ll just chose Lithosphere since it�s the hardest to say, it makes most logic, so lock in B � Lithosphere.�

�Ok lock in B � Lithosphere� B is correct for $500!�

�See I new it, the answer is always the hardest one to say.�

�Now lets play for the first bench mark of $1000� �The figurehead for McDonalds is a clown by the name of what?�
A � Ronald McDonald
B � Donald McRonold
C � Ronald McWorold
D � Donald McFonold?�

�Well of course only you fat ass Americans stuff your face with McDonalds, so you might think I�m pretty stupid if I got this wrong. I�m quite certain it�s D � Donald McFonold, so I�ll lock it in, I�m not gonna ask the audience, there all idiots, if I have to resort to using them, then I�ll take the money and leave.�

�Are you sure you want to lock in Donald McFonold? Lets take another look at the question before you answer.�

�No Reggie, just lock it in, I�m not gonna have these idiots tell me what�s right.�

�I insist you ask the audience on this one.�

�Well ok then, but no matter what these idiots say, its not gonna make a difference.�

�Ok lets go to the audience��

*There is a small pause before the graphic of a bar graph comes up on the screen, then it says 100% for A � Ronald McDonald.*

�Ok it seems like 100% of the audience has chosen A � Ronald McDonald.�

�So what? 100% of those idiots think A, but 100% of Diamond Brett Healey says D � Donald McFonold, so lock it in.�

�Since this is celebrity Who wants to be a millionaire, I�ll give you a hint� IT�S NOT �D�! I suggest you lock in something else!�

�Ok then, I�ll just have to embrace the audience by locking in A � Ronald McDonald, then America will know how dumb it actually is.�

�Ok, but you said that if you went with the audience you would take the money and leave, are you prepared to do that?�

�Yes, but there gonna be wrong so there will be no money for my charity, but I can afford to buy a new wrestling ring for my gym anyway so just lock it in Reggie!�

�Ok, lock in A � Ronald McDonald� A is correct for $1000!�

�What?!�

*Healey stands up from his chair as all the crowd laugh and point at him. He looks around at the audience stunned. Then he shakes his head in embracement and walks off outside the studio.*

�Well that was unexpected� not! Ok then lets play fastest finger first to see who the next celebrity in the �Hot Seat� is!�

*The audience begin applauding again as they start playing fastest finger first, then the camera fades to black.*

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