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Date Posted: 16:44:25 01/09/03 Thu
Author: TJ Raven
Subject: Pyramids are Plane Ramps

*The scene opens on a dusty windswept airstrip, somewhere on the outskirts of Cairo. Workers scramble around trying to get a Cessna Skyhawk ready for take off. As the camera pans around it finally picks up a shot of TJ Raven standing in a hangar. His long black tenchcoat still blowing in the wind of this hot Egyptian day, he turns his back trying to get shelter fro the blowing wind and dust so he can light his cigarette, once again probably a Camel but that's all speculation. After a pause of like 5 seconds he turns, cigarette in hand. A cloud of smoke coming from his mouth. An arabic man walks up to TJ, after the exchange words for a minute or two, the arabic man storms off, obviously not pleased by what was said. After another pause TJ finishes his cigarette and puts it out on his boot. A thumbs up from one of the crewmen tells TJ, the Cessna is ready for take off as it's engine roars to life. As TJ walks out from the hangar he notices the cameraman standing there, and waves him to come along also. Both TJ and the cameraman enter the aircraft and TJ plops down in the pilot's seat, the cameraman sits next to him*



TJ: Okay we'll be ready to go in just a minute, just gotta get this plane moving.



*TJ picks up the plane's radio and exchanges call numbers and whatnot as the plane begins to taxi out towards the runway*



TJ: Okay we're just waiting for confirmation, and we'll be up in the air in no time. But you know something cameraman I don't rec...



*TJ is cut off short as the radio begins squawking that TJ is cleared for take off*



TJ: Oops, that's us. Be with ya in a minute just gotta get in the air, and outta this dustbowl.



*TJ checks his instrument panel and starts moving down the runway, picking up speed as he goes, The Cessna's wingflaps go up and within no ti.e they are airborn. As the plane starts to go further in altitude TJ once again begins to speak*



TJ: Okay, now back to business. Now like I was saying Cameraman, I don't recall asking for interview time today so why are you here?



Cameraman: Well I was sitting back at the arena, and I figured I should get a comment from you after having completed your first match here in the CWF.



TJ: Okay that makes sense I guess. Ya know what I really hate about flying? You can't smoke a damn cigarette in the plane.



*The cameraman just kinda looks at TJ*



TJ: Anyway, back to your question. Yes, I completed my first match here and sadly my tag partner and I lost. I mean I wasn't the one with my shoulders on the mat for the 3, but a loss is a loss. Now we have this upcoming Glory in Scotland next Wednesday, and unfortunately the card has been booked already, but rest assured I will be there. I mean this is Scotland, this is my homeland. My ancestors fought there, my people showed their asses to the English tyrants of their day, or was that a movie? No matter, the point is I will be there, and my presence will be felt.



Cameraman: Riiiight. Okay um do you have any words or retorts to say to "Diamond" Brett Healey or Hardcore Khan?



*TJ looks at the cameraman kind of oddly, before just shrugging it off and speaking again*



TJ: Retort? Hmm now there's a word you don't hear a whole lot.



Cameraman: Thanks, I got it from my word of the day e-mail today.



TJ: Okay sure, whatever you say Cameraman, now do I have a retort? Sure. Healey, you had the gall to grab my feet from under the rope, and throw me into the ringsteps? You obviously knew you and your partner had no chance in hell in the match so you cheated. No problem, I can respect that. I'd be a liar if I said I never bended the rules to win, but ohhh what a surprise I have for you Healey. A match of sorts, a match made famous by the man who trained me. The Legendary Suicide Soldier himself. Now a match of this magnitude cannot be used on a show like Glory, oh no, a match of this magnitude must be used on a PPV. So what do you say old buddy how about a match? Electromania 4, you and me. One of us leaves, forever burned into the minds of those watching at home and in the back, the other..... leaves in a body bag.



Cameraman: Umm that's great TJ, but um you forgot to tell the stipulations of the match, like what it is?



TJ: You clearly have no concept of drama do you? I didn't forget, I didn't say because I want it to be a surprise. A secret to be revealed to everyone at a later date. Make people speculate on what it is. That kind of thing. So I'm not gonna tell.



Cameraman: But you're gonna tell me right?



TJ: No.



Camerman: Aww come on. I can keep a secret just ask my mom I never told my Dad she had genital herpes.



TJ: Well, ya did now, and that's extremely gross by the way. But no I'm still not gonna tell you.



Cameraman: Aww come on. I'll be your best friend.



TJ: I already told you no!



Cameraman: Aww pretty please with sugar on it.



TJ: If you don't shut up I'm gonna throw you out of this plane.... without a parachute!!!



Cameraman: Fine! Then you're not my friend anymore.



*The cameraman sticks his tongue out a TJ and slumps in his seat pouting*



TJ: Fine if I'm not your friend get out of my goddamn plane.



*The scene cuts to outside of the plane as it flies off into the distance. TJ and the cameraman can still be heard arguing about the secrets of TJ's mystery match, before fading out*

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