Re: Not sure......are they using again? -- METH HELP FOR FAMILIES

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Subject: Re: Not sure......are they using again?

Author:
Shelly

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Date Posted: 18:08:19 11/15/07 Thu
In reply to: Tiffany 's message, "Re: Not sure......are they using again?" on 06:37:39 11/15/07 Thu

Tiffany,
Do not engage in discussions with your brother except to tell him you love him and are there for when he is ready to get some help. The addicts can make us crazy and feel terrible about ourselves, yet helpless b/c we believe we can get through to them. We can't. My ex used to rant and rave to me when he was high -he called me every name in the book and I even have emails where he threatened me -all b/c I would be upset by his behavior with his daughter. When I finally said enough is enough and told him to not contact me or his daughter until he had a long standing of recovery did he stop all communication. He knew I had drawn my final line in the sand and would not step over it. At that point he stopped wanting to spout his drug induced anger towards me. I also found that if there is communication that is essential to be done via email. It keeps the emotion out of it and allows you to not get sucked into the drama, anger, or human feeling of defending yourself when they say untrue and nasty things to you.
I think that Becky is naive and probably very codependent. I have a g/f who is beautiful, 36 yrs old, smart, and amazaing who stays with her alcoholic husband who lies, cheats, and doesn't assist with any bills or child rearing b/c he can't keep a job (drinks too much) and wants to go out to the clubs every single night. Non of us understand why the hell she stays as she does not get anything positive from this man -but she does nontheless. We all just remind her how much we love her and are here for her and that's all we can do. Like the addict -they will have to hit a bottom when they decide they deserve more and their kids deserve more. Until then -all you can do is hope and pray your brother finds his way out soon and stay out of his path in the meantime.
We all know how frustrating and scary it is to be immeshed in the life of a meth addict. One of the hardest things to go through. Continue to come here for support. When I was going through the brunt of it -this site helped my sanity and gave me the strength when I was weak.
God Bless!

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: Not sure......are they using again?	Heather	18:43:14 11/20/07 Tue
Re: Not sure......are they using again? -- tiff, 13:37:34 11/27/07 Tue