| Subject: Re: daughter's been in jail a week now |
Author:
Shari
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Date Posted: 07:00:42 10/13/08 Mon
In reply to:
suzanne
's message, "Re: daughter's been in jail a week now" on 15:16:02 09/03/08 Wed
I am VERY familiar with Illinois D.O.C. from the outside. I am also very aware of what happens inside, with both the female and male prisons of Illinois thanks to Illinoisprisontalk.com and my husband.
Unfortunately, the mentality of D.O.C. is to totally break the spirit of the inmate in order to have more control. The State feels that an inmate is their possession.
Yes, we need to have our prisons totally overhauled, but...
It is not the family's fault that the person is in prison. The family on the outside is treated in a manner that they did the crime. There is way too much prejudice regarding prison when 1 in 100 American's are or have been to prison.
Drugs ARE available in prison. It is up to the inmate to decide what he wants to do and what he doesn't want to do.
I made sure that my husband went to Iowa Department of Corrections when he was at the peak of his meth addiction. I wrote him telling him the choice was his... clean up and come home to his family (taking advantage of their drug programs, etc.) or keep his life the way it is, and his family wishes him well (and goodbye).
He cleaned up...but he still kept the addict mentality of lying and manipulating. So, I went to visit him, and confronted him with this. He finally realized that if he didn't totally give up the addiction ways, he would lose us.
Fancy that...within prison, he straightened up. He did not take the meth that was offered him while incarcerated. He came home, went to church regularly, was a wonderful father and husband, held a job longer than he had ever had.
Then we had that drop happen again. He was arrested for something he had done prior to cleaning up. He is now, once again, in Illinois D.O.C. for at least four more years. BUT...he is clean, he is remaining clean, and will come home to his family.
It is unfortunate that there was something else out there still left unfinished, but once he comes home this time, there will be nothing left over from his meth days legally that can throw a wrench at us again.
I am left out here to attempt to raise my two young children without him. I don't have the time or energy to support him emotionally or financially. He knows that he is on his own. I told him...do what you need to do to get through this in there, and we'll do what we need to do out here. When it's all over, we'll be there for you when you get out.
How dare you even insinuate that we have ANY responsibility for or to anyone that is locked up. It is bad enough that WE have to live with THEIR consequences from doing things WE had no control over.
BT said "spoken like a true addict." That's for sure! All we heard about is what it was like for YOU... Did you ever stop to think what it was like for your loved ones while you were in there? Be my guest to come here on the days where my 3 and 4 year old boys can't get through the day because they miss their daddy so much... and I am here watching that in so much heartache because I can't take their pain away.
I have personally never been incarcerated in D.O.C. but have been there many, many times for visiting. My boys and I get the "crap on their shoes" treatment too while we are there. And we have to endure it because HE had to GET HIMSELF IN TROUBLE AND BE PUT THERE....not US.
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