Re: He wants to pick my son up for the weekend -- METH HELP FOR FAMILIES

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Subject: Re: He wants to pick my son up for the weekend

Author:
Shelly

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Date Posted: 18:43:36 04/20/07 Fri
In reply to: Hulalea 's message, "Re: He wants to pick my son up for the weekend" on 11:49:49 04/20/07 Fri

Heather,
Is Spencer threatening you? Does he show up unannounced? If so, then get a restraining order and your justification is his mental and emotional instability -not to mention history of drug use. Here's another tidbit I learned. I learned to have any and all correspondence via email. This allowed me to have any proof of threats, name calling, basically proof that he was not thinking right as well as wanting to see his daughter NOW, then dissappearing with no correspondence for while. I also have proof from others in his life of his drug problem. This gives me piece of mind to know that no judge would grant him visitation without proof of being clean from drugs.
Of course he is going to make you feel guilty -drug users manipulate and do it well. He knows what buttons to push to get you to give in. He learned from experience how to get what he wants from you. You need to set NEW boundaries, NEW experiences, and stick with them. I know your son wants to see his dad -but you are protecting your son -something he will understand once he is older. I believe that having no father is the lesser of evils than having a father who is in and out of your life, inconsistant, unstable, and irresponsible. You are saying no to him causing your son emotional -and possible physical harm. Keep that in mind when you feel weak. And -do everything in writing. If Spencer has no access to email, than do it by text (it can be downloaded and printed out/had a friend do this for her court hearings). Do not engage with him over the phone.
Yes, it is hard, but once you use those 'muscles', it gets easier and easier. Trust me, as I was there not too long ago. My daughter has suffered greatly b/c I didn't stop the maddness sooner -mostly b/c of my guilt and also believing each time he was 'better'. Your son is young enough to keep him from that suffering.
God Bless!

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: He wants to pick my son up for the weekend	Shari	22:46:04 04/20/07 Fri
Re: He wants to pick my son up for the weekend -- Heather, 12:19:35 04/21/07 Sat