Re:TR -- METH HELP FOR FAMILIES

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Subject: Re:TR

Author:
TR

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Date Posted: 10:04:59 11/21/06 Tue
In reply to: Heather 's message, "Re:TR" on 08:36:40 11/21/06 Tue

I agree totally that the holidays are hell. I miss the days when it was just family being together enjoying themselves without the drama of the addict. It is so hard to shut them out. I had a long talk with my daughter yesterday and she admitted that she has relapsed twice since she told me that she was clean. I explained to her that is the reason that I am being the way that I am about her having friends over when she is doing visitation. It is so hard because I want to just act like nothing has happened and not worry about sending my little girl over there but I can't and I know I can't. I realize that I will probably not ever be able to do it without concerns.

Do addicts do this? Do they clean up just enough to get you to believe that they are actually trying? I guess I am just a sucker when it comes to my daughter. I'm trying to get better but when she calls me telling me how much she has messed up and how much she is just trying to get her life together I seem to fall for it each time. Yesterday when we talked she told me that I hold everything against her and when she tells me things that I don't let her see her daughter. Then she wanted me to go to counsling so we could work on things. I told her that I don't hold things against her that I am just watching out for her daughters welfare and that I am not going to allow her around any of her friends because I don't know if they are using or not and from the past I can not believe her. And as far as the counsling goes I feel that she needs to get her life together before we even think about counseling. Am I wrong on this thought? I just feel that she is trying to lay the blame on me. The first 10 yrs of her life was not the best because I was a young mother that went through 2 divorces. My daughter helped raise her brother and sister for awhile because I was working and going to school. Then when she was around 7 yrs old I met my husband now, we dated for about 3 yrs and then got married. She hated the idea and turned from that point on. She claims that she was physically abused by my husband because he did spank her a few times because when I was at work she would not listen to him at all. She felt that he took her place and that I didn't love her as much anymore. I tried to do everything possible to keep her from feeling that way and it almost caused my husband and I to divorce. Then she got pregnant when she was 16 and moved out. She ended up coming back home and living shortley after the baby was born and realized that my husband was not that bad. He helped get her a car and put time and money into fixing it up, they started building a relationship just before she started doing meth but as soon as she started using she began with the same attitude and again started treating him like crap. When she began showing signs like crashing and leaving the baby unattended for hours at times we gave her a choice of getting help or getting out. You will probably laugh but she had me convinced that she was in a depression and that was why she was sleeping all the time. I finally woke up though and we kicked her out and took custody of the baby.

Now she feels that we should try counseling to fix things, I feel that she is trying to lay this all on me and is not taking responsibilty for her actions. I may not be perfect but I feel that I have given her every chance possible and I am at the end of my rope and about to give up. But of course when she calls me with a sob story she gets me everytime. Sorry for going on with this but I just need some feed back it helps to get other opionions. Sorry for the spelling.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re:TR	Heather	11:22:45 11/21/06 Tue
Re:TR -- TR, 12:22:21 11/21/06 Tue Re:TR -- Heather, 13:56:22 11/21/06 Tue Re:TR -- susan, 14:07:45 11/21/06 Tue