Re: First steps -please advise -- METH HELP FOR FAMILIES

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Subject: Re: First steps -please advise

Author:
Heather

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Date Posted: 14:34:37 08/04/06 Fri
In reply to: SUSAN F 's message, "Re: First steps -please advise" on 10:55:56 08/04/06 Fri

I just read Susans reply and I only agree that you need to go to court if he initiates it. Don't spend your money or time on someone who isn't serious. You will be chasing your tail until you learn his games. Let him prove it to himself first. It's hard to not worry about them and their feelings, but it is not your fault that this is happening to him. Let him stand on his own two feet. If you go to court you are just opening up the door for him. Let him open it up for himself. And if he never does, she is better off without him. The only reason I am going to court is because I have to get the divorce otherwise I would have not taken him to court for anything. I would have let him take me when he decided he was ready to be a parent. TRUST ME - it makes life harder if you try to deal with this now. I have told Spencer several times not to call or contact me and to take me to court when he was cleaned up his act. They don't listen to that. They pretend they never heard you say it. It's manipulation to get back in. And you are his target. If you were not his target, and he is clean, I guarantee that he would go around you to get to his daughter and to do that he would take you to court and that is ok. Let him suffer his consequences - it's the only way he is going to learn and it's the only way you will get off the roller coaster ride with him. STOP dealing with him. Let him get better first and he will come for her if and when he gets serious about parenting. If not so be it. You are doing great without him. Get yourself better and let go of him.
I am doing the same. It's hard but with time it gets easier. Go do stuff that you have been putting off. Get your hair done, your nails done or go buy a new blouse or new shoes for yourself. Go take your daughter for an ice cream. This is great healing for you and it is time. Don't play these games anymore. He is not worth your time or effort. You might just meet someone else and you will learn self happiness. Try everyday to not deal with his issues and do soemthing for YOU. =)
I will be praying for you because I can see that you have a huge heart just like me and you love this guy more than yourself right now. I have been there and I do not regret letting go. My life is much happier without him. I have my rough patches but I come here to be reminded that I am better without him and his issues in my life.

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