Re: Who Do They Think They're Fooling??? -- METH HELP FOR FAMILIES

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Subject: Re: Who Do They Think They're Fooling???

Author:
Hulalea

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Date Posted: 22:17:28 06/12/06 Mon
In reply to: Kim 's message, "Re: Who Do They Think They're Fooling???" on 20:44:22 06/12/06 Mon

Kim,
How do you tell - as a family member - that this time that they are telling you they're ready to quit so stand by them is the right time? After $38,000. worth of drug treatment? Or you've been ripped of all the jewelry that your great grandmother & grandmother passed to you as heirlooms? Or when you've been given foreclosure papers and are just a few weeks away from living in the car with 2 small children? or when he keeps coming and going and happens to leave you with some STD's and who knows what else? These are real things that I have dealt with with families who were told to hang on. Or hows about when you've taken the addict back over and over again, they've gotten cleaned up and then decides that she's tired of her home life and runs off with some guy that rescues her - without the kids to cramp her style. The things that sin manifests are innumerable. Another dynamic is the pain, hurt, fear and depression that takes place WHILE the addict is "working on themselves" i.e. using. They can run away by getting high - the family can't - they have others to care for. Then they have to be there for support and caring? Again, until you've felt the pain, you don't know the hurt (like recovering addicts agree with). Things may seem discouraging here at this site to some people but it is real to others. Everyone had their own insanity.
I have experienced pain but I've dealt with it - sober.
You're right, one day at a time is what we need. But there are others out there that should not be glorified or uplifted for something that they should have been doing in the first place. I think you're doing well and it's about time - can you imagine the instability, hurt and fears that have been instilled in the children? It does not always surface right away but they will have issues that should be dealt with and they deserve to have TWO SOBER PARENTS dealing with it. You can do it - you know you can!
Stick it out, once and for all and give it up to God. Most addicts struggle with nothing more than whats between their ears and how they think they know how to control their "atmospheres". I will pray for your continued peace and serenity but also for your families strength. God Be with you,
Hulalea

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