| Subject: Re: So, this is where I am..... |
Author:
WorriedMom
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Date Posted: 08:33:35 04/29/06 Sat
In reply to:
Rhonda
's message, "Re: So, this is where I am....." on 21:24:21 04/28/06 Fri
Dear Rhonda,
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words ((hugs)) . I read your other post about trying to find your son, and it is so painful what we are going thru. I wonder what my son would think if he knew the pain I am in - - I wonder if he would even care.
I know that drinking is not the answer, and I hope to find a doctor who will help me. I think I need to be on antidepressants, or something like that. I never drank except on rare occassions, but my husband has always had 2 drinks at night. One night I was in a lot of pain with a bad backache, and all upset about my son. My husband made me a drink and said "Here, drink this. It will make you feel a lot better".
So I did, and it took away all my pain and I was able to relax and laugh and get a good nights sleep, for the first time in a long long time.
But now it has become a problem because I am drinking way too much, and too early in the day. I am too old for this and it is hurting my body. I am trapped in it right now, but I don't want to be in pain either.
For all of my adult life, my life has revolved around my very small family. My mom, my granny, my son, and my husband. Mom and granny have passed on, and my son is no longer part of my life. All I have left is my husband, and I fear losing him because he has health problems and is almost 60. I feel so lonely without my family. I am very thankful for my husband, but very fearful of losing him. I am isolated because I don't drive and can't get out much.
I have a step-daughter, but she has never been in our lives very much. She is also a drug addict, and in jail on work release. We are helping her all we can, but I know she will vanish as soon as she gets out of jail.
Sorry this is so long - I guess I needed to write.
Rhonda, thank you for your encouraging words. It helps to talk about things.
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