| Subject: Re: Question for the Recovering Addicts |
Author:
Been There
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Date Posted: 12:14:07 03/08/06 Wed
In reply to:
Shari
's message, "Question for the Recovering Addicts" on 22:01:23 03/07/06 Tue
I am going to answer never was an addict but have used many drugs including meth.
The ex-addict feels remorse and can not explain it to the non user because it hurts the addict to much. The remorse is what drives most to relapse. Also sometimes it is such a fast, fast, fast, fast, life in the addicts mind focusing on everything around them at one time they really can not remember everything their brains have seen. Part of the remorse is sex, but a lot of it is not. How do you explain to your loved one that you were high just walking around Wal-Mart reading shampoo bottles ingredients for 8 hours, while your family is at home not knowing what is going on. The guilt the addict has of telling their loved ones that is all they were doing while you sit home in turmoil is a huge burden for the ex-addict. Again sometimes they just do not remember? Good Luck.
This is what SFJ wrote about remorse awhile ago:
, remorse is a part of what a man goes through. Everyone has a unique set of moral standards that we have from the day we are born. Attribute them to God, nature, fate, or the Human Condition, or anything else you want.
We all have our own core values of right and wrong, good and bad.
When we introduce meth, those values and morals get pushed aside for a more urgent need. That need is the drug-induced pleasure, and it often comes in the form of drug driven sex.
In fact, the remorse, guilt and shame that we feel after being a speed freak, and engaging in perverse, immoral activity is often so intense as to be unbearable. That is what drives many addicts in recovery to relapse. Even if they don’t admit it, or even if they hide it very effectively, that shame, guilt and remorse is so overpowering that many are just unable to tolerate it.
That’s why I often tell family and friends to avoid confrontation, finger pointing and blame, even though it may be deserved. It is terribly counter–productive.
The Big Book tells us we must “make amends.”
A very daunting task to be sure.
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