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Date Posted: 22:58:25 02/27/05 Sun
Author: Papa Shrink
Subject: Serious Question

Hey Bro,
I don't know whether or not ur still reading these or if u have already made up ur mind. But i want to give u some thoughts and some may not be as christian as the others or what u neccissarily want to hear.

A. Whether or not u should pursue a relationship with her? Well, honestly deep down inside, how do u feel about her and where do u see things, or would like to see things going? If u have strong feelings for her and feel they they could grow, then by all means, YES. If u see her in ur future, then by all means, YES. If God has a different plan, then he will show u, as long as ur seeking him and guidance for ur life.

B. She lied to u at first, then told the truth? Ok, now put urself in her shoes for a minute. But first let me ask u a question. Have u ever told lied or bent the truth to someone, becuase u weren't sure how they would react or maybe cuase u were ashamed. If ur human, the answers probably yes. Now just imagine for a minute that you were raised in a non-christian home, partied, drank, and sought after the things of the world instead of that above. Then u become a christian and begin turning urself around and putting on ur new self. But keep in mind that, before u were saved, u acted in an ungodly way, whether it be premarital sex, drugs, gettting drunk every weekend, whatever. Then u run into this gorgeous, godly women, who was raised in a christian home, went to christian schools, and maybe her dads even a pastor. So u start dating a little bit, getting to know each other, then the deeper questions start coming out. The ones, u might share with ur high school buddies, but definetly not with this wonderful christian girl. Now lets just say that in one of the deep conversations, u learn that she is a virgin, and that believes in saving herself for marriage. Ur mind is gonna automatically think about ur incidents of premarital sex, and ur probably hoping that she doesn't ask ur where u stand on the issue or if ur even a virgin. But, unfortunatly she does. Now ur brain is probably turning as u search for that good godly answer that u know she wants to hear. Now u can tell her the truth and risk ur relationship beyond friends with her, or you can lie, or bend or stretch the truth to make it what she wants to hear. Which intern will allow ur relationship to go on. But u see, u took the of lieing to her. I know, i'm writing this so i make the rules, u lied to her. Now, even though u think ur in the clear, u are more in danger of destroying that relationship becuase u lied. Yes maybe she will forgive u and understand, but u broke one of the most important rules in a relationship. TRUST. Now if u are a real man and a real man of God, u would tell her the truth the first time and trust God with the outcome. See she maynot be the one, but maybe she was put there to help u deel with some issues from ur past that maybe u've just tried to forget and put behind u. But back to point, cause i can feel i'm drifting. By be honest, whether or not it was the first time or later, will say alot about who u are. If u tell her the truth, which she may not want to hear, in the long run, she will respect u more for ur honesty towards her. Now back to ur girl. She was probably ashamed knowing ur backround and didn't want to jeopardize her relationship with u. And she was probably ashamed. BUT, she came back and told u the truth. Don't dwell on the lie. Focus on her honesty and willingness to put her shame and guilt out in the open for u. And, i'm sure she was well aware that she could be putting her relationship on the line with u. But she cared enough to risk it all so that she could be honest with u and tell the truth. And trust me, i know it may hurt sometimes and u may have jealous feelings, but only God can help u with that. Which brings me to C.

C. Bro, there is something that u need to realize about women today, christian or not. The percentage of virgins out there i would say between the ages of 14-21, with 21 yrs. old being less, is most likely less than 20%. Now I can hear ur disagreeing sighs from here. I cant even count how many christian and non-christian women i know, not just where i'm at, but all over the United States. And to my surprise, VERY few of them are virgins. Even in my home church, Strong christian women jr. high, high school, and college age are all expirementing with premarital sex. See the world that we live today, is desensatized greatly by the media. I'm probably beginning to loose u. But what i am trying to say, is that is getting harder and harder everyday to find a women christian or not, who is a virgin. Especailly at are age.

Bro, from what i understand, she has only been with 1 other guy, and if thats the case, consider urself VERY LUCKY. Stop dwelling on the past and move on. I know i could be shot for saying this, but i even know that there are more than a handful of women in our class that are not virgins. All i'm trying to say, is virgins are few and far between bro. Count ur blessing, get over ur jealousy, and move on. And i dont' know this girl, but i say Pursue her. And seek gods wisdom and guidance though it all. I hope u saw this posted message, and found the time to read it. And i apologize if any of it was offensive and that it was helpful. Good Luck.

Papa Shrink

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