EXCLUSIVE: AFL to Poach Rugby League Talent -- Fan Forum

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Subject: EXCLUSIVE: AFL to Poach Rugby League Talent

Author:
Concerned Pundit

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Date Posted: 19:46:37 05/04/04 Tue

In a shock announcement the AFL has announced that it will continue it's push into Rugby League heartland by pouching it's players to attract publicity and popularity. It was assumed that with Darren Lockyer off contract that this would be their immediate target, given he played the game as a school boy, but the AFL has decided to go far more grass roots than that.

The AFL through it's scouts have become aware of a young man by the name of Elliot James Howard Capner III and are desperate to snatch him away from the Toohey's League. Word has it they are immensely impressed by how high he rolls his sleeves up during a match and feel that he would be more suited to the singlets that AFL players prance about in during their match. They also feel that given how much natural talent the man possesses in mastering two sports in soccer and rugby league so quickly, that if they don't act now he will most likely tour with the kangaroos at the end of the year to britain and then be pouched by Rugby Union.

An irate David Gallop has held crisis talks with Kevin Felgate to ensure this super talent is not lost to the code forever as the code continues to suffer from the loss of Wendell Sailor and Lote Tuquiri. Salary cap concessions have been mooted for the univeristy club to keep capner in the code. Word has it Gallop is prepared to fork out for an extra roll of electric tape for Capner before EVERY game and a protein revival before AND at the conclusion of the match. Gallop is also very interested in a proposed risque calendar featuring Elliot titled "Man of Picton", showing Elliot getting down and dirty in his favourite rural home town.

Elliot's manager, Teague McDonald, has denied that his client is interested in the AFL, however does agree that more has to be done to keep the code's newest superstar in the game. He has suggested mirroring the entire dressing shed and supplying Elliot with a set of dumbells so that he can pump his guns in the sheds, and continue to stand on the wing and look good. He has also demanded Cable ties for his young gun to strap around his cannons as electric tape tends to loosen during the course of the match, and lots of precious size enhancing blood is able to escape and return to functioning the body. McDonald has also demanded more utilisation of Capner's immense profile by the Toohey's League with special autograph signings to be held by himself and Capner in Westfield Warrawong and Cambelltown, where Elliot garners most of his westy fan base. At the very least McDonald expects a mention for his client on the footy show, given how he himself was recently afforded the time.

Elliot, as a fan, say it ain't so. Please don't go to AFL, rugby league would cease to exist as a sport.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: EXCLUSIVE: AFL to Poach Rugby League Talent	butch	18:21:23 05/05/04 Wed