Re: Shaun Wallis -- Fan Forum

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Subject: Re: Shaun Wallis

Author:
By George.

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Date Posted: 22:39:30 01/18/04 Sun
In reply to: Jenny Craig 's message, "Shaun Wallis" on 16:56:43 01/16/04 Fri

>glad to see that hunk of spunk from the bulls looking
>nearly at his ideal weight. Despite my efforts poor
>old Shaun couldn't shed the excess baggage. Apparently
>Bulls mentor inspector gadget has enlisted the support
>of a mate who owns a Mr Whippy ice-cream van. The
>bloke drives past Wally's house, at about the same
>time as the big unit knocks off work, slows down to a
>snails pace, puts the old familiar tune up full
>volume, waits for Shaun to leep from his bed and then
>speeds off. Apparently the big fella has a soft spot
>for a soft serve and the veteran prop chases the ice
>cream van around Mt St Thomas, up and down hill and
>dale. Wally can be seen sweating, huffing and puffing,
>cursing and swearing as he persues Mr Whippy all
>around town.

I can faithfully report the latest news from the bull's camp concerning the epic struggle to get Shaun fit. The strategy master minded by Inspector Gadget has hit pay dirt. The ice-cream van, with Wally in hot persuit, yesterday hit a telegraph pole. It was racing down Heaslip street Mangerton when a front tyre blew out and the driver lost control, it was utter horror for local residents. When the big fella finally got to the scene he was confronted by a load of kiddies who had circled the van helping themselves to its' load. The veteran prop was in a state of panic at the prospect of all the ice-cream being consumed by the scavenging ankle biters. Wally managed to ward off the kiddies- all but one. A prop forward with the mighty midgets U10's, this kid was as determined as the bull's front rower to clean out the bounty on offer, the kid went round for round with Wally, they exchanged slaps, kicks and scratches, it looked like the big fella was licked until the kids mother appeared and yelled out "Vanessa leave that old man alone". It was all Wally's at last, victory had never been sweeter. He was scooping the ice-cream out, sucking the guts out of the topping containers, looking as happy as a pig in shit. His body was covered in an admixture of flavourings, melted ice-creams of various colours and millions of those hundreds and thousands that his wife uses to make his favourite fairy bread with. He looked like a techni-coloured bunyip dressed for the gay and lesbian mardi gras. His moment of ecstacy came to frightening halt, a fat sheila snatched the last of the choc-tops from his grasp and woofed it down in one go. Wally stood there aghast at what had happened, bottom lip quivering. Finally all hell broke loose, they were finger pointing, postulating with chests pumped out, making all sorts of inaudible noises, pulling each others hair,it reminded me of one of David Attenborough's documentary's on the mating rituals of Baboons. I must admit I feel sorry for the fat sheila, she used to be a footy groupie, a victim of a one night stand with a steelers utility forward who hailed from Mittagong. Once the player had his wicked way with her he discarded her like a used bus ticket. Ever since the incident of lust, she can't get the taste of the player out her mouth. She has developed a fixation for the choc-top as it rekindles those sweet moments many years ago. Wally and the big girl's toing and froing came to an abrupt end with the arrival of a Karas tow truck. The two instantly ceased their fracas and pleaded with the towy for just 5 more minutes of heaven, but to no avail, the tow truck driver had a busy schedule and couldn't comply. As I closed my door on the terrible episode, the sight of the fat bloke and the fat sheila sitting in the gutter embracing, tears flowing down their fat cheeks, consoling each other as the ice-cream van headed for the scrap heap, will haunt me to the grave and beyond.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: Shaun Wallis	By George.	22:40:40 01/18/04 Sun