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Date Posted: 00:38:41 05/19/01 Sat
Author: Dimon
Subject: Re: Nature Makes No Leap
In reply to: Leisa*) 's message, "Re: Nature Makes No Leap" on 12:17:23 05/14/01 Mon

Hey Leisa,
this was a solution of a buddhist sentiment and my own liquid memory. They believe that 'perfect' love asks nothing, imparts nothing, in fact...it leaves the intimate other perfectly alone to complete their trek towards uniting with the universal mind. This philosophy even goes so far to say that all attempts to be affectionate with a loved one is simply a selfish desire to control, wound, and force her/him to recognise and worship us. Human love is not only unnatural, it is downright idolatrous....or so they say.
Tangent: you know, I can't think of a religion so totally opposite of the philosophy maintained by yours truly.
Anyway, so this is bouncing around the raquetball court of my mind, when someone serves a dose of infant glorification that nails me smack in the nads. I never knew my Grandmother had such a kickin' overhand.
" Jesus loved all the children because they're innocent, giving, and love all mankind perfectly."
Bingo. Dead wrong, but Bingo!
"Um, "infants only desire an end to birth" got to go, Grams. Sorry for the sucker punch." after hanging up I sat back and let things coalesce, wind together, form.
I clicked on Counting Crows.
"We all want to be big stars...." *
I smoked some, and main-lined Starbucks' Sumantra.
"Believe in me, help me believe in anything..." *
I thought about the concept.
"When everybody loves me, I'll never be lonely..." *
I searched and searched for the clutch.
Then, there she was "suddenly beautiful" *
and soaking wet from her submersion in psyche:
my sixth grade crush, Mary Frasier.
We had a great craic as friends, but never made anymore of it.....I swore, though, I'd marry her, and I did. In wild, fantastic dreams of the old west,....intense, passionate visions of burning buildings and a hero's welcome....crisp rem images of beach vacations, open air services, and heart-pounding, athletic acts of consumation that would leave us breathless and me pitching a tent in my bedroom that should have been licensed for seating capacity.
Aha! The engine...the drive...and now the means to harness them!
So the first part was an intimate narrative to the reader, attempting to get across the basic plan for the poem ( I threw that tongue in there to shake things up a bit....is supposed to mean that I seldom get to write anymore, yet here we are again....lets give it a go.) The last bit was about how she would bound off with her other friends leaving me miserably alone, and craving her attention. I loved her, and desperatly wanted to monopolise all her time, but ended up just bitterly saying ok, and suffering on my own. Faking that I loved her enough to let her go....a child, Id, craving and crying for the birth pangs to cease.

PS. Have not received any of your mail from Juno yet. Asked, but they aren't giving. Have you had any problems with them lately?

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