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Date Posted: 19:27:57 05/04/01 Fri
Author: Leisa*)
Subject: The Day

The Day

The day has worn
me like a tired rag doll
I'm popping those little
liquid filled Advil®
to ease the pain in my legs,
lower back spasms
and all over crampiness.
I'm looking forward
to night when I can take
the full strength prescription pill
to ease the muscular
pings that reside here.
I took my cat in earlier to the vet;
Alexis but we call her Lexie.
The other cats hate her.
She's been peeing blood.
She's been bird hunting;
she threw up her dinner
last night.
She has that same
fucking urinary disease
that eventually killed
Coubear, the best cat ever.
She's only 3 and 1/2;
I think with the special
diet and occasional pills
she'll have a long life.
I treated myself
to a Deluxe Cheeseburger
or whatever Jack in the Box®
calls it and a Coke®.
I rarely drink soda
and I hate cheese on my burgers.
I come home and watch the ongoing
trial of the 13 year old
who killed his teacher
in Florida.
I think to myself
I must write about this
and how all this madness
affects me while Lexie
gives herself a 30 minute bath
to wash away human germs.
I think about Michael,
an honor student as well
only one year younger.
I watch Nate's best friend
on the court tv testify against
him, speaking truths
and I so relate to these kids;
so close to my own kids age.
On the one hand, I am proud
of this child testifying,
he speaks clearly and softly
yet you can feel a nervousness
about him, something amiss
in the picture....
he shouldn't be there.
Nate shouldn't have shot his teacher.
None of this makes sense.
I sit horrified at the reality of 2001.
I go to my Cake Bible and bake
a "to die for" chocolate fudge cake
that will comfort somewhere deep
inside later.
A hunger for sanity and images
of 1956 America
before kids shot their peers,
teachers and parents.
I worry and wonder.
We have family hour
every night from
8:00 to 9:00
and I wonder if it's enough,
if we, as parents can ever do
enough to keep our kids safe,
sane and stable.
I flip the channel during commercial
break to see characters
from some old sit-com
named Jamie and Paul
having a baby, their first.
Bruce Willis plays in this episode.
Jamie's mom on the show
is Carol Burntte and her dad, Caroll O'Connor.
How odd.
Anyway, she delivers on television
before what surely was a packed
audience on original broadcast
a healthy baby girl.
And I cry.
I cry for her future.
This show isn't real
yet it reflects our lives.
The small fragile life
that is born;
the small fragile life
that was taken
on the channel down the dial.
I think about the teacher's wife
and babies he left behind
and all because he disciplined
Nate; an honor student.
He taught middle school English.
Michael will be in middle school
next year.
I don't know about you,
but I'm scared as hell.
On my way to pick up my kids
I think about the $916.00
electric bill I have until
the 25th to pay.
Futureshock lives
and breeds fear.
I mailed the rent off
late today and am
thinking at least I'll have
a roof over our heads.
We come home;
frost the cake, eat a piece
with a glass of milk.
I am not comforted.
As I walk out
of the kitchen, Michael
opens the fridge
and an 18 ounce bottle
of Kraft® Ranch dressing splatters
all over the floor.
It fits the day.
And the afternoon fades;
I sip coffee.

Leisa*)
05.04.01

{am hoping for a nice quiet evening now}

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