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Date Posted: 15:52:28 01/25/01 Thu
Author: ElizabethGray
Subject: To Dream of Death

To Dream of Death

My heart aches something fierce tonight;
No reason, just the pain and fear
That always comes unbidden.
If I was allowed to drink again
By my conscience and your sighs
I'd be gone by now, for sure.
And if I was allowed to smoke again
Maybe the thickness and heat would overtake me
And I could ignore this feeling that I hate.
And if I could swallow all those pills
Without knowing how much it would kill you
And how much I would miss you
I would have been sleeping peacefully.
Maybe the day was just too dark
And everything went wrong
So this anger and loss set in to torture me;
And of course I let it in.
But your eyes keep me warm,
They melt away a bit of the pain
And dry a few of the tears
But still they leave a stain;
Is it you that causes such an emptiness
Or no..just the absence of you
Something I must learn to live with;
So here I am,
Without the drink, or sleep, or smoke -
But you, my love, I miss the most...

12.7.00

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