| Subject: Re: Just 'cause |
Author:
Emily
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Date Posted: 14:41:43 12/08/05 Thu
In reply to:
Elisa
's message, "Re: Just 'cause" on 12:09:44 12/07/05 Wed
Well, I can't help but post. I think you guys are great, and understanding and forgiving. I've lost a lot of my posting apprehension I had a first. And, Chiska, you don't sound preachy or patronizing. You sound like you have some hard-earned wisdom.
Chiska, following your guys' online blog, and praying for you has just increased my awareness of the joy and blessing Ruby Jane is in our life--and the joy and blessing that all babies should be to their parents. I don't think there is anything much more heartbreaking than a baby who is brought into the world unwelcomed, as bad news. They really are all those cliche things that people cross-stitch into wall decorations "straight from heaven". It's true.
During pregnancy I kept on being surprised, saying to Joe, "This is not that bad. I could do this again!" Then right after Ruby was born it was, "Let's do this again!" I try to be aware of that, and thankful, and not complainy.
Since then I've made friends with a woman who had a miracle baby. They were in fertility treatments for over a year. The stories she tells, the shots everyday, the phone calls from the lab hour-by-hour "egg #4 has just died, and egg #5 is not doing well..." etc, it makes me wonder at her faith and long-suffering. Her final implantation and resulting pregnancy ended in a miscarraige. Then they got pregnant the old-fashioned way--miraculously. She fully believes this is it, the one and only.
It makes me notice how when her baby boy does something, and she reacts with such drama--that she is thinking, "this might be it. This might be the only one." and I look at Ruby with an increased desire to remember every detail, love every part. The soft belly to kiss when changing a diaper, the way she moves her hands when asleep or eating, etc.
Elisa, I've wondered about your health and getting pregnant. I've wondered about Jess' mentioning her and Dave trying. I think of all the things you guys aren't telling us, the private things. I think about the price my friend had to pay to get her little guy here, and then all that Chiska is going through. It makes me feel almost guilty for the ease it's been for us so far.
And mostly I just love all of you and the strength you exhibit, the kindness and patience and understanding. And I try to be more conciouse everyday to not take this for granted--as trite as that sounds, it's the only way I can explain it. And at what price? I wish that all these things could be made more simple for everyone. But then we wouldn't get to read Chiska's comments and feel bolstered by her faith. But, again, at what price? I still would wish it to be made easier for everyone, though I know there is a plan and HF loves us and Christ is there for us. But you know, that doesn't just solve all our problems and make every cheery.
I love you Jolly Flaters.
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