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Date Posted: 09:44:39 04/21/03 Mon
Author: toliveistodie
Subject: A new way to decide elections?

Here's a thought. Our current political system (you all know how fucked it is) should be revised with these provisions:

A. Must have had at least one Nathan's famous hot dog in the last year, AND enjoyed it.
B. If you've had this Nathan's it must have been BOILED (if it was cooked by any other method you get immediately flogged a minimum of ten times)
C. Must have proof that you have used a turn signal at the proper time for your entire driving history (if not, you will be chastised by Timothy Michael by a method he chooses, and I can guarantee it will not be pleasant)
D. You must know a few lines of lyrics to at least two Frogs songs
E. You absolutely CANNOT in your entire life at any point have been a "longhair"
F. You must appreciate the historical and cultural relevance of the work of MMN productions.
G. You must know what a "DSD" is and what game has been played with this item.
H. You must not be a prick.

If you do not meet ALL of these requirements you must immediately give up your right to run for any political office AND you must perform five years of community service for Tommy Avallone and his friends as they see fit (i.e. you become their personal man/women servant)

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