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[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 09:05:40 11/20/02 Wed Author: Kristin Subject: FIC: I'll Be Missing You B/G Title: I’ll Be Missing You Author: Rippers’ Girl Rating: PG Summary: What happened after The Gift Spoilers: The Gift & anything before that is fair game Disclaimer: I do not own these characters; they are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy & UPN. L I’ll Be Missing You belongs to P. Diddy and the other people in the song. I simply am doing this for fun, and non-profit use. Feedback: I crave it! Note: Tissue warning! ************************************************************************ They all stood there in shock, staring at her lifeless body. Everyone was in tears except for Giles. He didn’t want to believe that his beloved Buffy was dead, but he knew what needed to be done and he knew that he would have to be the one to do it. “Xander, Anya, grab some shovels. Spike, grab the Buffy-bot and find her head. Willow, Tara, make sure Dawn is okay,” Giles gave them all orders. They all stared at him like he had grown another head. Not having any patience right then Giles just snapped, “Now!” Everyone sprang into action thinking that Buffy’s death had finally made Giles lose it. Giles went over to Buffy’s body and slowly lifted her into his arms. Willow and Tara came over to join him along with Dawn, whom they had had to pick up off the ground where she had collapsed in tears. She was still crying heavily and leaning on Tara for support. “Giles,” Willow began cautiously, not sure how Giles would react to anything. “What are you doing? What are we doing?” Giles looked at her sadly and replied, “We’re burying her. I know this seems rushed but we have to bury her before anyone finds out. No one can know that she is dead. If anyone finds out, Dawn will have to go and live with her father, and this being the Hellmouth, if any demons or vampires find out that the Slayer is dead, we will all be in serious danger.” The others had finished their jobs and had heard what Giles had told Willow. No one knew what else to say, so they just followed Giles silently as he walked into the woods. The others didn’t know where they were going but it seemed like Giles was heading somewhere specific. When they had reached a clearing, Giles said softly, “This was one of Buffy’s favorite spots. She told me that whenever she was upset she would come here and she would feel better.” Spike put down the Buffy-bot and grabbed a shovel from Anya. He and Xander began digging a grave. Giles wanted to help but he couldn’t bring himself to put Buffy down. When Xander and Spike had finished, they backed away so Giles could lay Buffy down. He gave her a kiss on her forehead and began to lower her into the ground. Before he could, though, Xander said, “Can we wait a day or two? I can get some material from work and make her a proper coffin.” Giles thought this over, wanting this for his Buffy, and said, “Willow, do a cloaking spell so no one will find her. We can wait until Saturday night to bury her. We’ll have a service for her then.” Xander spoke up again, “I can make a tombstone for her, too. Would that be ok?” Giles nodded his agreement. No one wanted to go back to the house that night so Willow, Tara, and Dawn decided to spend the night at Xander and Anya’s apartment. Giles was invited to stay but he declined but agreed to walk with them there before heading to his place. He just wanted to go home and be by himself. Spike, not sure if he was welcome or not, decided to head back to his crypt and get drunk. Before he left, he said, “If you need me, you know where to find me.” “Spike,” Giles said before he could leave, “would you take the Buffy-bot back to your crypt until we can get around to fixing it?” Spike nodded, picked up the ‘bot, and left. The rest of the gang headed to the apartment. Xander and Anya were in the lead, followed closely by Willow and Tara who had Dawn sandwiched between the two of them. Bringing up the read was Gils. “Willow,” he said. “Would you go to LA and tell Angel?” Willow, knowing how Giles felt about Angel quickly agreed. After making sure everyone got to the apartment safely, Giles continued his walk home. When he got there, he opened the door and managed to make it to the couch before he broke down in sobs. “Oh, Buffy,” he cried. “What am I going to do without you? I can’t do this without you. You are my life and I never told you how much I love you.” Giles continued sobbing until he had no tears left to cry. He didn’t know how much time had passed when he finally started to calm down. He sat there for a moment pulling himself together. He wanted to get drunk like he had no doubt Spike was, but after what had happened last year, he had promised Buffy that he wouldn’t get drunk again. Instead he headed to the kitchen to make himself some tea. When it was done he headed back to the living room. He found that it was too quiet and decided to turn on the radio and settled himself on the couch. Not wanting to think anymore he just listened to the lyrics of the song that had just come on the radio. As he listened to the song he didn’t even realize that he had begun to cry again. The words seemed to fit exactly what he was feeling. When it was over and they had announced the name of the song and who sang it, he grabbed a piece of paper and something to write with and wrote down the information about the song. He knew what he wanted to do he just hoped he could do it in time. Exhausted, both physically and mentally, he fell into a restless sleep on the couch. Saturday Night They met in the clearing before as soon as the sun had set. Giles had Willow and Tara set up wards around the sight to keep unwanted visitors away. Xander had built a coffin for Buffy and Giles had gently laid her in it. They had decided to wait until after the ceremony to bury her so that everyone could say good-bye. Giles looked at the simple tombstone that Xander hade made for Buffy. It read: Buffy Summers 1981-2001 She saved the world a lot Giles thought that it fit her perfectly and if Buffy could see it he knew that she would be laughing. Giles looked around at the people who were there. There were thirteen of them all together. There were only thirteen people to mourn the loss of this extraordinary young woman. Cordelia, Wesley, and Angel had come from LA and brought Faith with them. They had called ahead to make sure it was all right for her to come. Giles, knowing what a forgiving person Buffy was, had said it would be fine. She stood near Angel but slightly apart from everyone. The other two people had been a surprise. Somehow Oz had found out and made it to Sunnydale in time. He suspected that Oz had been in e-mail contact with either Willow or Angel. The biggest surprise was when Jonathon had shown up. Giles had pulled him aside and sworn him to secrecy and Jonathon had given his word. Since there was no clergyman to perform a regular service they had decided that they would each just take a turn to speak about Buffy. Jonathon went first. “In high school I was the loser that everyone picked on. I didn’t think anyone cared but Buffy did and she saved my life on more than one occasion. Then when I cast that spell so that everyone would like me, when it was over everyone was mad at me except for Buffy. She understood why I did it and didn’t hold it against me. She was really a great person and the world won’t be the same without her in it.” Oz went next. “You all know that I’m not one for words so I’ll just say that Buffy was a good person. If she had been a different type of person than I might not be here today.” Faith stepped forward hesitantly and said, “I know most of you here probably hate me and I don’t blame you. I just want to say that I’m gonna miss B. She was what a Slayer should be. I hate that I caused her all the pain I did. She was the one person who it seemed no matter what I did she still tried to help me. I hate that she died with us not speaking anymore and I know it was my fault. I hate that I’ll never get the chance to tell her I’m sorry.” She quickly stepped back into the shadows so that no one could see the tears slipping down her face. Wesley went next. “Buffy and I didn’t get along at first while I was in Sunnydale and it was mostly my own fault. I was never the Watcher she wanted or needed. I haven’t seen her since I left Sunnydale but I hope that she would call me a friend because even though she was never my Slayer, I am still very proud of what she has accomplished.” Cordelia cleared her throat and began, “Buffy and I weren’t really friends. I thought she was a loser and while we sometimes hung out together I still treated her like a loser. I feel bad about it but that’s just what I was like in high school. I’m still like that now sometimes. I just hope that she knows that I did care even though I didn’t show it. She was really a good person. She gave up practically everything she had to save people and if anyone deserved some happiness it was Buffy so I just hope that wherever she is now she’s happy.” Next went Angel. “I think Buffy was the first person that I ever truly loved but we could never be together. I left so that she could have a future. Whenever I have seen her in the last two years something bad was always happening. I just hope that she found some happiness in there among the bad. I will always love and remember her.” It was time for the group from Sunnydale to start. Spike went first. “When I first met Buffy I tried to kill her. I continued to try and kill her even after I got this chip and my head. Then somewhere along the way I found myself in love with her. I couldn’t believe it. But even after she found out, and told me in no uncertain terms that we would never be together, she still treated me like a person. I will always be thankful to her for that.” Anya stepped forward next, “I’m still new to this human thing and I don’t really know what you should say at someone’s funeral. All I know is that when Xander and I started dating I started hanging out with Buffy. At first I figures it was because she was Xander’s friend but then one day she invited me to go shopping with her when Xander wasn’t around and I realized that she wanted to be friends with me and she wasn’t just being nice to me because I was Xander’s girlfriend. It’s not fair and she shouldn’t have died.” Xander went next. “Buffy was my friend since she first moved to Sunnydale. We went through so much together. She saved my life more times than I can count. When I had a crush on her she let me down gently. Even when I was a jerk to her she forgave me. Buffy wasn’t the type of person to stay mad. Not to say that she didn’t get made because she did and when she did you did not want to have any body parts within her reach. But when she got mad it never lasted. She was a very forgiving person and forgave almost anyone for the mistakes they had made. She was one of my best friends and I’m really going to miss her.” When he was done Tara stepped forward shyly. “I only met Buffy last year. I was really shy and like Anya I figured she was just being nice to me because I was Willow’s girlfriend. Then when my family came she was the first person that stood up to them and said that I was family and that they would have to get through her to get to me. She said that even after I put a spell on her that went wrong. It was then that I realized she was my friend and not just Willow’s. She was a really great person and I’ll miss her.” Willow went next wiping tears from her eyes. “Buffy was one of my best friends. Before she came to Sunnydale I never had a girl friend. I was a nerd and got made fun of. When Buffy came she could have been friends with Cordelia and her group but she chose to befriend me and it meant a lot to me. I finally had someone I could talk to about boys and later girls. We had fights like all friends but we always made up. I’m really going to miss her.” Dawn came forward and started in a shaky voice, “Buffy was my sister. First I lost mom and now I’ve lost Buffy and it hurts. I know in reality that I was only Buffy’s sister for a year but the memories that I have say that we have always been sisters. I feel bad about all the crap I ever put her through. I thought she was so special because she was the Slayer and that she got special treatment. I realize now that if she did she deserved it because in the end the Chosen One is really chosen to die young. Before she jumped she told me ‘The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.’ So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to live. I’m going to make her proud and do all the things that she didn’t get to do. I love you, Buffy.” The only one left to speak was Giles. He quietly stepped forward holding his guitar. “I have never been very good at sharing my emotions with words so I decided to do it the way I know how, with a song. I heard this song the night that Buffy died and it made me think of her. I have left out some of the words and just left the parts that fit.” He picked up his guitar and began to play his voice soon joining the guitar. Yeah... this right here Goes out, to everyone, that has lost someone That they truly loved Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show Buffy, they got to know that Life ain't always what it seem to be Words can't express what you mean to me Even though you're gone, we still a team Through your family, I'll fulfill your dream In the future, can't wait to see If you'll open up the gates for me Reminisce some time, the night they took my friend Try to black it out, but it plays again When it's real, feelings hard to conceal Can't imagine all the pain I feel Give anything to hear half your breath I know you still living your life, after death Every step I take, every move I make Every single day, every time I pray I'll be missing you Thinking of the day, when you went away What a life to take, what a bond to break I'll be missing you I miss you Buffy It's kinda hard with you not around Know you in heaven smilin down Watchin us while we pray for you Every day we pray for you Til the day we meet again In my heart is where I'll keep you friend Memories give me the strength I need to proceed Strength I need to believe My thoughts Buffy I just can't define Wish I could turn back the hands of time Still can't believe you're gone Give anything to hear half your breath I know you still living you're life, after death Every step I take, every move I make Every single day, every time I pray I'll be missing you Thinking of the day, when you went away What a life to take, what a bond to break I'll be missing you Somebody tell me why One black morning When this life is over I know I'll see your face Every night I pray, every step I take Every move I make, every single day Every night I pray, every step I take Every day that passes Every move I make, every single day Is a day that I get closer To seeing you again Every night I pray, every step I take We miss you Buffy... and we won't stop Every move I make, every single day Cause we can't stop... that's right Every night I pray, every step I take Every move I make, every single day We miss you Buffy Every step I take, every move I make Every single day, every time I pray I'll be missing you Thinking of the day, when you went away What a life to take, what a bond to break I'll be missing you When he had finished they were all crying. All of them thinking of the friend they had lost. In Heaven When Buffy had died she had found herself in a place that she could only describe as heaven. The first person to greet her had been her mother and Buffy had broken down in tears of joy. She was so happy to see her mom again that she hadn’t seen what her friends had gone through that night. While she was up there she got to see Kendra and was glad to see that Kendra was happy here and had even lightened up a little. She was also glad for the chance to speak to Jenny calendar. Jenny had informed Buffy in no uncertain terms that she had never blamed Buffy for what had happened and that the only person who had to forgive Buffy was herself. Buffy was finally at peace and she was finally happy. Then all of a sudden she felt something tugging at her. At first she couldn’t figure out what it was but then she looked down and saw all of her friends gathered in her favorite clearing. She wandered what they were all doing there but quickly figured it out when she saw her body lying in a coffin. She leaned down so she could hear better. As she listened to them each speak she began to cry. She cried tears of joy for the love that her friends had for her and she wept tears of sadness for the grief that they were all feeling. When it was Giles’ turn to speak she listened even closer. When she saw his guitar she was happy; she had never gotten a chance to here him sing. As he began to sing she listened to the words that he had picked just for her and she saw the love behind the song. She felt such joy at the thought that he actually returned her feelings for him. It quickly turned to sorrow though when she realized that now they could never be together. She didn’t know when she had fallen for Giles. She knew that when Angel had left her she had been heart-broken. He had been her first love and her first lover, but she had spent a lot of time with Giles that summer and he had helped her get over Angel. Even she could see that they had never really had a chance. Then when she had see Olivia with Giles it had hurt her so much but she hadn’t known why. Riley…Riley had been her chance to be with a nice, safe guy after what had happened with Angel and Parker. She had loved Riley, just not the way that he had wanted or needed to be loved. She couldn’t believe that she had allowed Xander to goad her into trying to stop Riley from leaving. Later, she had been relieved that she had gotten there too late. She and Giles had gotten closer after Riley had left and even more so after her mother had died. She had just always thought that he had seen her as a friend. She had never believed what Travers had said about Giles loving her like a father. He had never treated her like his child, not the way she had sometimes seen him treat Willow or Xander. She had just never thought that he could love her the way she loved him. As much as she loved Heaven and was happy to finally be at peace she would have given anything to be back on Earth with Giles and her friends. As she thought this last though a woman appeared before her with gold skin and a silver toga. “Chosen One,” the woman said. “Who are you?” Buffy asked. She hadn’t seen anyone like this woman since she had been here. “I am a messenger from The Powers That Be,” she replied. “They are very impressed by what you accomplished on Earth and the sacrifices that you have made. As your reward, they are granting you one wish.” “Really?” Buffy asked eagerly. “One wish? Can I wish for anything I want?” “You may wish for whatever you would like,” the woman answered looking at her meaningfully, “but be careful. Once you make your wish you may not take it back.” Buffy thought about this for a moment. She looked over to her mom and then down at her friends where Giles was just finishing up his song. Smiling at the woman, Buffy said, “I wish that I were alive again.” She knew that she would be back someday. The woman smiled back at her, snapped her fingers, and disappeared. The next thing Buffy knew, she was lying down and she couldn’t see anything. She heard the last strums of Giles’ guitar and the quiet sobs of her friends. She opened her eyes and realized that she was in her own coffin. She slowly started to get out; she didn’t want to scare her friends by just jumping out. She didn’t know why, since she figured that they’d be wigged either way. Everyone heard the noise she made getting out and turned to look. Cordelia screamed, Dawn looked like she was going to pass out, and Giles got very pale like he had seen a ghost. She supposed that must be what she looked like to him since she was supposed to be dead. Faith had edges closer and taken a fighting stance. “You didn’t tell us she’d been bit, G.,” she snapped. Spike answered her since Giles seemed incapable of speaking. “She wasn’t,” he said. “Whatever’s going on, she’s not a vamp. Besides, I can hear her heart beating.” Faith, not trusting Spike, turned to Angel for confirmation. “He’s right Faith,” Angel said. “She’s not a vampire.” Willow, finally finding her voice, said, “Buffy…um, could you maybe explain what’s going on here?” “Well, to start off, I’m Buffy and I’m human. I’m not anything demony or anything,” she explained. Jonathon and Oz decided to slip quietly away after she said that. They knew that this didn’t involve them. “Anyways,” Buffy continued, “The Powers That Be basically said that because I was such a good Slayer, I could have one wish so I wished that I was alive again.” This time it was Cordelia that spoke up, “No offense, but I assume you were in Heaven and had peace and happiness and all that so why would you wish yourself back here?” When everyone glared at her she added, “Not that we’re not happy to have you back.” “Thanks, Cordelia,” Buffy said, “and you’re right I was in Heaven and it was great but then I heard all of you guys talking about me and I have something to say to each of you.” She stepped in front of Wesley. “Wesley, I want you to know that I do consider you a friend and even though I never considered you my Watcher you did try.” Buffy smiled when Wesley stuck out hi hand but shook it. She then pretended not to notice when he wiped a tear from his eye. “Faith, I forgive you and I hope that we can be friends.” Faith, her eyes bright, struggled to hold back her tears. Buffy hugged her tight and felt Faith let go of all that she had been holding in. She gave Faith a minute to compose herself before letting go. “Thanks, B,” Faith said. Buffy just smile at her and moved towards Cordelia. “Cordelia, even though you didn’t always show it I know you cared.” They shared a quick embrace and then Buffy went to Anya and Tara. “Anya, Tara, I would still be your friend even if you weren’t sating Xander and Willow. You have both helped me and been there for me even though you didn’t have to and I will always count you guys as my friends.” She gave each of them a hug. “Speaking of Willow and Xander. You guys have been my friends since I first came to Sunnydale. You guys made my life bearable when I didn’t want to be the Slayer.” She held each of them close for a minute before letting go. “Dawn, I’m sorry that you had to go through so much this year and I just want you to know that I am so proud of you.” She gave Dawn a big hug and held her as Dawn cried tears of joy for the sister that she had gotten back. Buffy paused then. The two people whom she hadn’t addressed yet were looking at her, Angel in anticipation, Giles in a mixture of shock and joy. Filling in the silence Willow babbled, “So you came back because we missed you? That was so sweet! You didn’t have to, but we’re glad that you did.” “Actually, Will, that’s not why I came back. Angel, could I talk to you for a minute?” Buffy asked. The two of them moved away from the others to talk privately. Giles’ look saddened but he was too happy to have his Buffy alive again. Angel smiled sadly at Buffy, gave her a hug, and led Cordelia, Wesley, and Faith away. Buffy came back to where, now, just the Sunnydale gang was left. She took a deep breath and said, “The real reason I came back was because I heard Giles singing.” She turned to face him. His smile had somehow gotten even bigger but his eyes were confused. “When I heard Giles singing I knew that I couldn’t die before I had gotten a chance to do this,” Buffy said as she jumped at Giles. On reflex he caught her. They looked at each other for a moment, Buffy had her legs around his waist and Giles had his arms around her, holding her to him. Then she leaned in and kissed him. At first he was too stunned to react but soon he had tightened hi grip and was kissing her back. The others stared in silence, but then they started cheering and applauding. They had Buffy back and two of their best friends had gotten together. They were happy. Giles pulled back a little from Buffy and whispered, “Welcome home, Buffy.” Buffy grinned and hugged him tight. She had enjoyed the peace in Heaven and would be glad to be back there someday, but right now she hoped that someday was far, far away because she knew that with Giles she had found Heaven on Earth. ************************************************************************The End “I know I’m sappy but I can’t help it!” the author says grinning unrepentantly. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Replies:
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