Re: Is it wrong? -- Unicorn Message River

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Date Posted: 23:19:33 12/28/03 Sun
Author: symmetry
Subject:

Re: Is it wrong?
In reply to: DayDreamer 's message, "Is it wrong?" on 10:35:28 12/24/03 Wed

DayDreamer: Is it wrong of me to want to live in my dreams?

Where do you get this notion of "right" and "wrong"? What is the something that makes you wonder if it is wrong to live in your dreams? A voice, a feeling, inside? My suggestion to you ... is to find where your question comes from. If it is your own voice (or something else from inside you), consider listening to it. [[It could also be the influence or voice of others that makes you ask this question.]] Maybe do some introspection, and discover.

DayDreamer: Even though they aren't real, I enjoy them more than reality.

Yes, understandably so! I enjoy cutting my leg lightly with a knife much more than dealing with confusing, painful emotions and the feeling of being weak. Does that make it right? It depends on your concept of right and wrong, I guess. For me, it is wrong, even though I enjoy it (as an alternative to being burried under a mountain of bad feelings) ... and the more painful thing (dealing with/working through the emotions) is right.

Another, more fitting example ... I love to daydream. To say "I enjoy [dreams] more than reality" would be a huuuge understatement. But I have discovered that, for me, it is wrong. Daydreaming is my sedation, my number ... and it keeps me from the true healing (the kind that sometimes hurts). The sweetness of a dream hurts me in ways that I never feel because it keeps me from so many meaningful and real experiences -- things that I often do not enjoy, but that are better for me. My daydreaming hurts the people around me because I seem and feel so distant and I struggle with real relationships. It also hurts the people that would be around me -- the people who are hurting too, but who I never reached out to or spent time with because I was too lost in my dreams.

Also, it stunts my personal growth. In addition to pure fantasy fantasies (unicorns, portals), I like to daydream "real life" scenarios that could be my life. One that I liked a lot was that I had a boyfriend who was absolutely wonderful. This daydream recently came true but it is not the same as it was when I imagined it. This made me realize that in my daydreams ... it wasn't just something I wished would happen to me, it was someone I wished I was. In my imagination, I did things I never could in real life and I was a different, better person. I always knew the right things to say, I was never scared of anything, I was never uncertain of anything, there was never an awkward moment. Now, even with the dreamy boyfriend, my life is not a dream ... I still have fear, the same struggles, not knowing what to say or how to help, feeling distant, et cetera ... and only when I pull away from my imagination and get into the real stuff, where I have to face the issues, ... only then can I deal with them and become a better person.

I do not know what your situation is, what kind of things you struggle with, or what kind of daydreams you have. I am telling part of my story to see it if helps with your question (I am sorry if I seem a little condescending or something -- I am always paranoid about that). Whatever conclusion you come to, I hope it is truly good for you!

Quotes I half-forgot haha:

"no man can be temperate who thinks pleasure the greatest good, and no man can be compassionate who thinks pain the greatest evil"

"go where you never thought you would ... do what you never thought you could ... be who you always knew you should"

<3 symmetry
-portal questing-

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Replies:

Re: Is it wrong? -- Akari, 13:05:16 12/29/03 Mon

Re: Is it wrong? -- DayDreamer, 16:19:49 01/04/04 Sun