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Date Posted: 05:24:28 03/15/03 Sat
Author: 維他貓
Subject: 三月

各位大哥哥大姐姐:
維他貓並不是詩社的成員,
請恕我冒昧擅闖討論區。
下面一首詩是我從感覺寫的出的,
希望各位能夠賜教及批評。謝謝!

【三月】--- 維他貓
三月
綠色尚未走遍每一個角落
......
三月
藍色捨不得與每一人告別
......
三月
黑色突然重回每一條小巷
......
三月
紅色爭取顯現每一剎美麗
......
三月
綠色依然努力地向每一個角落
走著.......

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Replies:

Re: 三月 -- 風緣, 01:12:23 03/16/03 Sun
- 一點建議.和關於詩社成員 -- 方綺, 06:18:05 03/18/03 Tue
結句可特別一點,跳至七月、八月......甚至坐月等等 (NT) -- 文津, 19:30:01 03/17/03 Mon
- 為甚麼要這樣跳？跳至月經好不好？ (NT) -- 學生, 21:31:44 03/17/03 Mon
  - 月經都不錯,方綺的說法也對.只要跳到月經後,仍保留三月的詩意就可以了. (NT) -- 文津, 22:34:10 03/18/03 Tue
    - 跳至坐月也可，跳至月經又不錯，不如跳埋上月球，看看嫦娥的八月十五，和吳剛一起砍月桂樹，又不錯嗎？ (NT) -- 很蠢的學生, 22:35:11 03/19/03 Wed
    - 可以試試想想三月和八月十五的關係 (NT) -- 文津, 19:00:16 03/20/03 Thu
Re: 三月 -- Robert, 19:29:06 03/20/03 Thu

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