| Subject: Things Batman Will Never Say(A few have to deal with Wondy) |
Author:
Cat Price
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Date Posted: 14:17:09 10/11/02 Fri
Things that Batman Will Never Say…
By Cat Price
Disclaimers: Don’t own DC or Batman
Apology: I was really bored one day and…well, it just sort of went downhill from there. Have pity on me….
“Wow! These romance novels are great!”
“Um, Wonder Woman? Can I borrow your nail polish?”
“Revenge never solves anything.”
“No, *, not tonight.” *insert Talia, Selina, Diana, etc...
“But I don’t wanna go into the Haunted House! It’s scary!”
“She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...”
“Oooh! Band-aids are lots of neat colors! Look at them all!”
“Oh, my darling! I love you! I can’t live without you!”
“I’m Scary Spice!”
“Please don’t hurt me, Superman!”
“I need power! I need respect! I need love! I need a hug!”
“Sex? What’s that?”
“Yippee! Oprah is on!”
“I was wrong.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Aww, darn! I broke a nail.”
“*sniffle* E.T… No…”
“I know! Let’s go see Titanic!”
“I love the tellitubbies!”
“(singing) Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know…”
“Where’d my collection of Harry Potter books go?”
“Or maybe it was two cups sugar, one teaspoon baking soda…”
“Eeeeww! There’s a bloodstain on my glove! How disgusting!”
“You’re right.”
“I can’t go on patrol tonight, Nightwing. I have ballet lessons.”
“Ooow! Papercut!”
“Eeeek! Spider!”
“IIIII want candy!”
“(to the JLA) Uh, guys? I’m realy sorry sorry about the whole ‘Tower ofBabel’ thing…”
“I’m afraid of heights.”
“AAAH! It’s a bat!”
“Women make me nervous.”
“I’m claustrophobic.”
“(singing) Ooops I did it again..”
“But if I take my gloves off I might break a nail!”
“Oooh! My cake is ruined (throws a hissy fit)”
“Who wants pudding?”
“SOMEBODY KILL THE BUG!!! SOMEBODY KILL THE BUG!!!”
“Catwoman? Will you marry me?”
“Now, how do you open this gosh-darned blush compact?”
“Alfred, could you come here for a minute? I forgot how to start the sewing machine again.”
“Who wants to do the hokey-pokey?”
“All right! Rugrats is on!”
“I don’t know which I like better; the cream drapes or the baby blue… Alfred! Which goes better with the new carpet? Boy, interior decorating is tougher than fighting Bane!”
“I…uh, I’m a virgin…”
“Let’s rent ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’ for video night.”
“’Bruce’ is NOT a stupid name!”
“(like Jessica Rabbit) I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way.”
“Tim! I keep forgetting; what’s the fourth motion in the macarena?”
“Superman is my lover.”
“(in golf attire) Fore!”
“The Joker isn’t evil! He’s just…misunderstood.”
“Help, Superman!”
(to the JLA) “Let’s rent ‘The Sound of Music’ for video night!”
(to the people in Arkham Asylum) “Let’s all just be friends!”
“But if I take my gloves off I might break a nail!”
“Tim! Turn that damn Playstation off and turn it to channel 32. It’s ‘Live At The Bluebird Café’”
“I want to be a memaid!”
“OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!”
“Oh, I don’t have a thing to wear today!” (Throws a hissy fit)
“Robin…? I..I…I love you, Tim! You’ve made me so proud! I…I…*sob*”
“(singing) I’m a bitch, I’m a lover…”
Batman: “Remember all those times I insulted you about your heritage or your upringing or something?”
Wonder Woman: “Yes…”
Batman: “Well I never meant it.”
“Whats up Green Lantern, buddy of mine…”
“These darn bloodstains are sooo hard to get out of spandex…”
“Is Sesame Street on yet?”
“Alfred! You got the store brand! I wanted Trojan!”
“I was never potty trained.”
“Robin? Does this shirt make me look fat?”
“Hey Dick! Tim! Let’s all dress up alike on Halloween!”
“Alfred…I love you, man. Really, I do.”
“Uh, Robin? Lately I’ve been wondering about our relationship…”
“Oh, shut up, Alfred.”
“Wonder Woman? Will you marry me?”
“Catwoman? Maybe we should just be friends…”
Batman: “I’m hip, I’m sexy, I’m cool!!”
The JLA: “Urk….” (Sweatdrop)
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