VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, [3], 4 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 16:29:43 05/29/10 Sat
Author: Mike P
Subject: Frank awoke screaming, it was all a dream, or was it?

Here is just part of Frank's nightmare of the future, from last night:

Former President Obama named supreme ruler of the world.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.



Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.




Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.



85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.



Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.


Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.



Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.



Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030..



IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent..



Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Re: Frank awoke screaming, it was all a dream, or was it? -- John MacNotLaughingMuch, 20:22:33 05/29/10 Sat

I'm pretty sure Frank would be fine with Iran's radioactivity levels. No sleep lost there.


You know, for a while there, you didn't kill any threads. Mike, here's your new mantra: "If I can text it on a phone in less than 1 minute, I can post it on the hate board."


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> Re: Frank awoke screaming, it was all a dream, or was it? -- Mike P, 21:18:55 05/29/10 Sat

>I'm pretty sure Frank would be fine with Iran's
>radioactivity levels. No sleep lost there.
>
>
>You know, for a while there, you didn't kill any
>threads. Mike, here's your new mantra: "If I can text
>it on a phone in less than 1 minute, I can post it on
>the hate board."

How about just fucking off, just for once! OK Thanks.

Short enough?


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> [> Re: Frank awoke screaming, it was all a dream, or was it? -- John MacThisIsWhatIGet, 00:57:19 05/30/10 Sun

>How about just fucking off, just for once! OK Thanks.
>
>Short enough?

OK. I can see I've upset you. But if you had gone to Medical School like you were supposed to, your father and I wouldn't have to tell the neighbors that you suffered anoxia during your Astronaut Space Shuttle training. Explaining your current condition. Mostly.


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> [> [> Re: Frank awoke screaming, it was all a dream, or was it? -- Mike P, 01:53:22 05/30/10 Sun

>>How about just fucking off, just for once! OK Thanks.
>>
>>Short enough?
>
>OK. I can see I've upset you. But if you had gone to
>Medical School like you were supposed to, your father
>and I wouldn't have to tell the neighbors that you
>suffered anoxia during your Astronaut Space Shuttle
>training. Explaining your current condition. Mostly.

Touche' Mr. Bond










and it was Bulimia!








and that's why I'm fat now,







I finally learned not purge.


[ Edit | View ]

[> Re: Frank awoke screaming, it was all a dream, or was it? -- Frank, 07:14:37 06/01/10 Tue

My work is done here.

Mike and John have managed to carry an entire thread all by themselves.

Really. They did.

No one's read it, of course, but that doesn't belie its existence.
Well done, gentlemen, well done.


"Woman with her mouth shut".
As if!


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> Re: Frank awoke screaming, it was all a dream, or was it? -- Brian, 19:18:23 06/01/10 Tue

I read it and I was amused. I would have read it sooner but I was putting my life back in order after The CTRF First Annual Robin Hood Springtime Festival. We have got to shorten the name.


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> [> Re: Frank awoke screaming, it was all a dream, or was it? -- Frank, 07:15:38 06/02/10 Wed

I'm sorry, but I have a vard time believing Brian wants less wordage.
Lutefisk?


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> [> [> Re: Frank awoke screaming, it was all a dream, or was it? -- Frank, 07:17:36 06/02/10 Wed

>I'm sorry, but I have a vard time believing Brian
>wants less wordage.
>Lutefisk?


Yes.
I meant to say vard.
A vard time is harder than a hard time.

As in my nipples are so vard I could cut diamonds


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> [> [> [> Re: Frank awoke screaming, it was all a dream, or was it? -- Brian, 18:16:38 06/03/10 Thu

I'm having a var time believing you.


[ Edit | View ]


[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-5
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.