| Subject: Chapter One |
Author:
xfilefan
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Date Posted: 16:44:47 04/28/03 Mon
In reply to:
xfilefan
's message, "Forever" on 15:41:29 04/28/03 Mon
*Ten years ago*
"I'm sorry, Beans."
It rained that night, harder than I'd ever seen before, like it was some sort of metaphor or something. I stood with an umbrella, but he just let himself get wet. He didn't care. Then again, rain seemed trivial in the presense of recent events.
I didn't mean to hurt the one I loved. That was never my intention. Maybe I was being sumwhat selfish, but everything felt so unreal I had become numb to emotion. I know I had hurt him, and quite a few other people, but it was my unsatisfiable desire to go against fate that led me to the decision anyway.
"What is this about, Jax?"
What a stupid question. How should I know what this is about? How should I know why I had to go? How should I know why I couldn't just stay in England, why I had to go to America when I was happier than I had ever been where I was.
"This typea thing is the only thing I never could understand about you, Jax."
"Same here."
"Is it really that hard to say no? Is it worth resisting the temptation to spite your mother if it keeps things the way they are?"
"This isn't about spiting my mother." That might have been a lie. I had no idea why I was doing this. It could have been to spite my mother. It could have been to spite myself. Or him. Or to seperate myself from him in some way, bbut then again, why would I ever want to do that when all Ive ever wanted was to be a part of him.
"Then why, Jax?"
"I honestly don't know."
"Whats in America with your Dad that isn't here?"
"I don't know. I really don't, please stop asking, Beans."
"Well why shouldn't I ask! Wouldn't you want to know why someone who claims to love you more than anyone or anything would find it so easy to pack up and leave everything they had achieved together?"
"It wasn't easy and you know it." I didn't say that last line angerly, but flatly. I wasn't angery. Well, at myself maybe.
The taxi driver honked his horn, obviously impatient. Jax knew she was waisting money, and had to leave.
"Goodbye Beans."
"Goddbye Jax."
We didn't kiss, we didn't hug. But the way we looked into each others eyes was far more intamate than anything physical. Suddenly I didn't want to go, I didn't want to leave all this behind as my heart filled with nothing but love for him.
But I did go. I did take that long plane ride to America and I did meet my father at the airport. I did bulid a new life in Seattle, but I never forgot. I just thought I did.
A/N: In this chapter Jax was leaving to go to America and live with her father, I'm not sure that was completly clear. Please review my work, even though the plots barely started.
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