.suicide note.
.you never noticed me.Dear Diary
I have been keeping myself to myself recently, afraid of the shadows that haunt me, afraid of the judgmental voices, afraid of him. After Crypt's little outburst the shadows once again became my friends, we patched up our little argument and they welcomed me back into their clique. I was not quite finished with my sulking and my reunion with the shadows but the silent calls of Midnight's duel persuaded me to face the music and pick up my dancing shoes again. The only being I felt even a slightest inkling of trust and respect for was being lead away from me. I cannot describe the emotions that darkened my overhead sky, my judgement became clouded and my rationalisation faded. In that instant I wanted to lash out and destroy the being that was leading my friend away. I wanted to rid the world of him, but I forced myself to hold my tongue knowing Midnight's duel would soon once again walk the oceans shoreline by my side. I felt myself make the glacial perpetual motions forth towards the enlarging group of equines before ceasing any motions as I neared in proximity. I heard the single word that my vocal chords formed and promulgated forward but it was not until it had been heard by the surrounding creatures that I realised how desperate it had sounded and that I did not actually know to whom the word had been addressed to.
Please...And so, diary, I had followed them out of the island slowly unnoticed, lagging behind, amongst the shadows. I could not bring myself to remain behind when the only being I felt any trust and friendship for was removed. I do not know what I aimed to achieve merely that I could not stay alone. I had planned to stay amongst the shadows, only surfacing when it came for her time to return but everything changes in time. I observed them as they mocked what they did not understand, one who had little fight left in her. The vision stirring painful memories inside my head as I remembered the same emotion as I was viciously and repeatedly abused by the person who had 'claimed' to love me, the heartache when I discovered him entangled with another being. The physical bruises and scars all fade but the mental scars remain forever, just beneath the surface, just waiting to arise when the moment is right. The memories pounded at my culmination in protest forcing me to recognise the all-so-familiar sharp pain. I once again force myself to inaugurate a two beat rhythmic movement, which draws me closer to the masculine and my only confidante as my facial features conspire into a beseeching expression, a minute flicker hope still slowly burning softly and held within incandescent illuminated spheres.
Take me instead, let her go...I mean nothing to him, she means everything. Please....?
.What do you do when the only thing you believe in is taken away?.
.serving as a nothing in catacomb isle.
.Trust forming: Midnights duel, Crypt.
.They call me friend: Midnight's duel.
.They call me lover: none.
.They call me sister: none.
.They call me enemy: none.
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