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Date Posted: 23:23:40 12/30/03 Tue
Author: J.T. Magnus
Subject: Chapter 53: "Brand New Year, Brand New Man"

My mom knew about my going through... (She had to be told, unfortunately, she's the one who pays my rent.) basically the equivilent of a super-puberty without the hair growing in wierd places, but no one else in my family did, which meant that it was going to be an 'EN-ter-resting' party. What the relatives didn't know was that I looked different, was an extraterrestrial (although, technically, if you define 'extraterrestrial' as one who thought processes, habits, and methods are different and does not have a human body, I could have been considered one for most of my life, being human being the only thing keeping me from fitting the bill completely...), had a brother (though Kay had chosen to remain at the apartment and finish up his project), and most importantly of all, the love of my life happened to be riding shotgun singing along with and bastardizing Toby Keith's "He Ain't Worth Missing"

"He's flying high tonight
"You're flying high tonight
He's got a brand new lover
You've got a brand new lover
Here you come a-runnin'
Oh, you came a-runnin'
You're looking for some cover
You were looking for some cover
I know you're sad and lonely
I know you were sad and lonely
I know you're feeling blue
I know you were feeling blue
You miss him so much
You missed her so much
Won't me get to close to you
But let me get close to you

Oh, he ain't worth missing
Oh, she ain't worth missing
Oh, we should be kissing
Oh, we should be kissing
Stop all this foolish wishing
Stop all this foolish wishing
He ain't worth missing
She ain't worth missing
I know your head is turning
I know your head is turning
I know your heart is burning
I know your heart is burning
Girl, you gotta listen
Boy, you gotta listen
Don't you know he ain't worth missing
Don't you know she ain't worth missing

You know I'm here to save you
You know I'm here to save you
But you ain't through crying yet
But you ain't through crying yet
Look at your pretty face
Look at your handsome face
All red and soaking wet
All red and soaking wet
I'm gonna try and make him
I'm gonna try and make her
Just a memory
Just a memory
Come on baby, let's get started
Come on baby, let's get started
First thing you got to see
First thing you got to see

Oh, he ain't worth missing
Oh, she ain't worth missing
Oh, we should be kissing
Oh, we should be kissing
Stop all this foolish wishing
Stop all this foolish wishing
He ain't worth missing
She ain't worth missing
I know your head is turning
I know your head is turning
I know your heart is burning
I know your heart is burning
Girl, you gotta listen
Boy, you gotta listen
Don't you know he ain't worth missing
Don't you know she ain't worth missing

If you need someone to hold you
If you need someone to hold you
Someone to ease your pain
Someone to ease your pain
Well, I'll be holding steady
Well, I'll be holding steady
Girl when you get ready
Boy, when you get ready
I'm gonna show you
I'm gonna show you
Love is a good thing
Love is a good thing

Oh, he ain't worth missing
Oh, she ain't worth missing
Oh, we should be kissing
Oh, we should be kissing
Stop all this foolish wishing
Stop all this foolish wishing
He ain't worth missing
She ain't worth missing
I know your head is turning
I know your head is turning
I know your heart is burning
I know your heart is burning
Girl, you gotta listen
Boy, you gotta listen
Don't you know he ain't worth missing
Don't you know she ain't worth missing

Oh, he ain't worth missing
Oh, she ain't worth missing
Oh, we should be kissing
Oh, we should be kissing
Stop all this foolish wishing
Stop all this foolish wishing
He ain't worth missing
She ain't worth missing
I know your head is turning
I know your head is turning
I know your heart is burning
I know your heart is burning
Girl, you gotta listen
Boy, you gotta listen
Don't you know he ain't worth missing"
Don't you know she ain't worth missing"

That was it, I had to know... It had been boiling in the back of my mind since that first day and I NEEDED to know...

"Jessica?"

She turned her head from the window and towards me, "Hm?"

"How do I phrase this... Why me?"

"What do you mean, J.T.?"

"I don't know, it just seems like you should be pissed beyond belief, hating me, and demanding to be sent back to your reality and your J.T., but you're not..."

"Why should I?"

"Huh?"

"Why should I? You're him. Maybe not the same experiences, but you have the same spirit, the same soul... You're him as much as he's you."

"No.. I'm not... You want to know why I created him and others? Because they're NOT me, they'll never be me. And when this is all over, I might have to be me again... I love you, Jessica Parker, but I can't let you love me if I won't be like I am now, or worse, if when this is over, you're sent back to your reality." I took a deep breath, "Every time something good happens to me, it turns out bad in the end... and I don't want that to happen with you..."

"It's Hades that does it you know."

Jessica grabbed what's appropriately referred to in my family as the "Oh, SHIT!" handle as I whipped into the parking lot of Plaza 5 Video and slammed on the brakes.

"WHAT the HELL do you WANT, Ellimist!?"

"Just to tell you that there is no need to worry, ZERO has a special place in his heart for you, says you remind him of him. Possibly the greatest compliment he can give. Even when Hades falls you'll remain as you are now," his eyes glanced at Jessica, "with whom you are with now. But as to your past, Hades has been planning this for years, so he's spent those years manipulating events in attempts to weaken the Chosen."

Jessica, in turn, glared at him, "And you couldn't find some way to tell us this that DIDN'T involve popping up in the van's back seat while we're going sixty miles an hour on the highway?"

"Yes, but that would not have gotten the same level of attention from you two."

"I don't know whether to thank you or blast you, so I'm gonna settle for telling you to get out of my van."

"Ok, Ok..."

The blue glowing old man popped open the sliding side door, got out, closed it, and started to walk away, then turned back towards us, "Oh, and if there's any of those T.G.I.Friday's potato skins left over, would you please save me some?"

The horn blared out as I facefaulted against the wheel...

**==

Ten minutes later, we were standing on the front porch of my cousin Amy's while I gave Jessica a quick refresher briefing on the mission we were about to undertake: Interact with those whom I am unfortunately related to.

"Now remember, this is my family, so expect this place to be worse than the Pit if there was a Scotland/Ireland sporting event on April first."

Jessica visably shuddered, the friendly animosity between the Scots and Irish of the Joe team was matched only by the team's practical joking ability.

"I wish I had brought my Desert Eagles."

"Not enough ammo capacity..." I muttered under my breath. Not to mention no place to keep them considering the fact that she was wearing jeans and one of my t-shirts under a lightweight red coat instead of her jumpsuit. I myself was in jeans, dark blue t-shirt, and flag motif bandanna with a heavy green jacket with built in grey hooded windbreaker.

"What?"

"As I was saying, my mom's ok, but she has this wierd obsession with wanting a brown-eyed grandchild. Jonathan's not that bad, but his girlfriend Danielle makes Zanya look like Miss Congeniality. Amanda's a bit of a pain at times, but her husband David is worse, knows others often know more than he does and hates them for it if you ask me. Aunt Phyl is a lot like my mom. Amy is a bit of a grouch, while her husband Bobby has a mind that seems to be a decade younger than he is. Then there's the two I seem to have the most trouble with, Brook and Hannah, the babies. Brook is Amy and Bobby's, Hannah is Amanda and David's, and niether of them will get within three feet of me without crying. Ready?"

"Maybe we should just go back home..."

"Heh, yeah, you're ready."

I opened the door and the two of us stepped into to something that hell would need four billion years just to become a shadow of... Why can't there EVER be a monster attack when you NEED one? I mean, let's face it, this family is NUTS. For one thing, they can take something with no connection to it and bring the conversation around to sex without even trying... Thank Bahamut I no longer look like them, nor need to use my old name, I've never been able to be around them long before I want to gouge my liver out with a pencil.

"You weren't kidding, Sisro."

ACK! Ambushed! Aunt coming from Brook's room! PANIC!

"Vanish." I whispered.

"What did you say, Wesley?"

"What the hell? Vanish." I repeated, a little louder this time. Then looked around and saw everyone looking at me...

"VANISH!" I near shouted, then Jessica tapped me on the shoulder.

"Forgot to rest and let your Magic Points refill, didn't you." A statement, not a question.

"Yep..."

"And we have no chance of escape now?"

"Yep, they've spotted us."

"Now I wish I had eaten that second helping of ramen for lunch."

"I wish you had brought your guns."

And so it went...

Luckily, by the time twenty-three fifty came around, everyone had adjusted. The fact that the first time my father made a hentai no baka remark I kicked him off the back porch helped. Hey, at least I dragged him outside before I hit him. What amused, and in a way saddened me was the way Brook had taken to Jessica. Kids just didn't take to me like that, they always started crying. Hell, the first time I'd held Brook she threw up on me. As the clock started to count down, I took a deep breath to aid me in my quest to, as the Blackbird quotes, get my shit together, risk life and limb, and face the odds to give it my best shot. The feeling of dread and fear that I faced each time I ever wanted to do something and was having trouble getting up the guts paralyzed me to the point of barly being able to breath, much less move. Then Brook began playing with Jessica's dog tags, which caused Jessica to smile as she gently took them away from her.

"No, Kiddo."

I couldn't do it, I just couldn't do it...

Heh, what a wuss. Just what I didn't need to make my day complete, a visit from my Saya-jin Id...
Shut up.
You spend so much time preaching how better than Saya-jins you are. A Saya-jin would have already had her by now.
Shut up.
Maybe I should take control, then something might actually get done. Face it, kid, you're worthless..
Masata, that. Does. It. I've put up with you in the back of my mind making snide remarks for months now, I've borne with you, not even knowing it was you, putting me down and trying to keep me down all my life, NO MORE! Heaven's wish to destroy all minds...
What are you, crazy?!
Nope. I cast this on me, one of us goes bye-bye, and there's as good a chance that it'll be you as there is that it'll be me. But either way, sayonara, Masata-san-no-baka... HOLY EXPLOSION!

Though I was the only one who could see it, a beam of white light came down from Heaven...

And I was alone in my mind but for the Magni. I looked at Jessica and Brook and felt no fear.

With only moments to go before the ball dropped, I walked over and slipped my arm around Jessica's waist. When the ball did drop, we kissed. We kissed with hope and happiness, saddness and pain, with all our hearts we kissed. When we broke apart I stared in wonder at the baby in her arms...

"Would you look at that..."

"Look at what?"

"Brook, she's not crying around me......"

It was 2004. January First, 2004, and I couldn't help myself, I started singing...

"I saw the light
I've been baptised
By the fire in your touch
And the flame in your eyes
I'm born to love again
I'm a brand new man

Well the whole town's talking
'Bout the line I'm walking
That leads right to your door
Oh how I used to roam
I was a rolling stone

I used to have a wild side
They say a country-mile-wide
I'd burn those beer joints down
That's all changed now
You turned my life around

I saw the light
I've been baptised
By the fire in your touch
And the flame in your eyes
I'm born to love again
I'm a brand new man

I used to love 'em and leave 'em
I'd brag about my freedom
How no one could tie me down
Then I met you
Now my heart beats true

Baby you and me together
Feels more like forever
Than anything I've ever known
We're right on track
I ain't looking back

I saw the light
I've been baptised
By the fire in your touch
And the flame in your eyes
I'm born to love again
I'm a brand new man

I saw the light
I've been baptised
By the fire in your touch
And the flame in your eyes
I'm born to love again
I'm a brand new man

I saw the light
I've been baptised
By the fire in your touch
And the flame in your eyes
I'm born to love again
I'm a brand new man

I'm born to love again
I'm a brand new man...."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks to Toby Keith, Kix Brooks, and Ronnie Dunn for having performed the songs used within. Also, thanks to Arknorth and Firestorm whose fics ("Fight of The Bumblebee" by Arknorth and the "Robots in Disguise - Conquest" series by Firestorm) providied ideas for the J.T./Masata scene. Though the odds of Mr.'s Keith, Brooks, Dunn, and of Arknorth reading this are low.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!

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