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Date Posted: 08:40:30 06/16/04 Wed
Author: jaf
Subject: how england captain named his child

Bored with poetry, here is a little mini play I thought might interest you :

The true story of Nassers retiral

A chance meeting of two young men


JB (carrying baby in one of these ridiculous and thoroughly uncomfortable papousse things) : Oh hello it is you Michael isn’t it, how is the injury?

MV : Clearing up thanks, should be fit for next test.

JB : What a nightmare fitting all you guys in now Strauss looks so good.

MV : Yes, anyway what a cute little baby. My wife is due to give birth in a week or so. Can’t wait, but I have a real problem in that I am finding it difficult to decide on a name for our baby.

JB : Oh, we found that pretty easy.

MV : Well I wish I had some inspiration like that.

JB : Tell you what, I will give you a couple of suggestions but only in exchange for the guaranteed retiral of that self obsessed clown, Hussain. I am sure Fletch and you can find a way to make him fall on his sword.

MV : Sounds fair mate, you’ve got a deal.

JB : OK, our wee girl is called Tallie which is an abbreviation of Tallulah. My wife would not agree to Tallulah because it was a bit too flowery and OTT for ‘an ordinary kid’ but a celebrity kid like yours could easily pull it off, so Tallulah for a girl.

MV : Perfect. And for a boy?

JB : That depends what you want this child to be, for example if you want a worker who will get better as he matures, go for Andrew Pedro. If you want a fast talking cheeky chappy, go for John. If you want your boy to be pretty spaced out, Muir would do. If you want him to be a heart-throb with all the cute girls he ends up working with, go for Grant. Finally, don’t really know why you would but if you want him to be a slimey toady gay-obsessed delinquent, Pete sounds about right.

MV : That’s much more complicated , hope it is a girl. But that’s a great help, don’t worry the knives are just about in Nassers back already.

JB : Excellent, I know someone who will be pleased.

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