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Date Posted: 08:30:31 02/06/03 Thu
Author: jaf
Subject: Football joke - no, not Fizz's goalkeeping!!!!

A Celtic fan, a Rangers fan and a Partick Thistle fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said, "It is my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to grant each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Celtic fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The tim had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The Rangers fan was next up (he had almost finished an entire six pack by himself), and after watching the scene, said "Alright! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before he whip went through again, sending the wee hun out crying like a little girl.

The Partick Thistle fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team in the world, your supporters are some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Royal Highness," the Jags fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.

"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheikh says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And, your second wish....what is it to be?"

"Tie the Celtic and Rangers fans to my back."

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