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Date Posted: 01:57:56 03/04/03 Tue
Author: Faramir, Ranger of Ithilien
Subject: Re: Mistakenly sends the Nazgul after herself.
In reply to: Sue 's message, "Mistakenly sends the Nazgul after herself." on 18:03:29 03/03/03 Mon

Greetings, Wraith Queen. (bends to kiss hand, finds no hand, shrugs) Your words are fairer than your notoriety, and it may be that the Wraiths are unfairly judged, if they have the wisdom to be ruled by such a queen as you. I am sent forth to speak on behalf of my Italian shieldmaiden (just a different pronounciation of Ithilien in the language of Gondor), who is currently huddling at my feet, hugging my left knee and sniffling, instead of dashing into battle with sword drawn in my defence...

But I cannot blame her, O Queen. Her reason unfortunately snapped, after a terrible fight with wraiths hundred of times fouler than you. She keeps claiming she did something like "putting her foot into her mouth", which I can attest she never did and, like all Gondor men and women, is entirely uncapable of doing, unless it be a manner of speaking. She says that your judgement upon myself was fair and true and that it could not possibly upset her. You never said I am "more evil than Boromir" (as though my poor beloved brother were ever evil!), or that I am a... what's that word again... a "psycho" (the meaning escapes me but 'tis surely bad), or generally horrible, unwatchable, a travesty... of myself, no less.

I admit it, I did act in a harsher and colder way with the hobbits in the "Movie" than I did in the "Book", but it was to make Aragorn look better - I think you will understand, my lady. My dreamy, poetic, sensitive side will indeed appear in the "Special Edition" (these foreign words have such a peculiar sound).

And it happens that my Italian shieldmaiden, who already harboured a gentle love for me in the Book, found that in the Movie the added difficulty in getting to my true sweet nature, the harsh and cold layers of a soldier living in extreme conditions of war, made it more meaningful in the end to see my real warm soul shining through my beautiful and tormented crystal-clear eyes (her words), and that it inspired her with feelings that, simply put, made her want to... excuse me...

(what did you say?)
(yes, but what does it mean?)
(stares, blushes) (WHAT?)

By you leave, my lady, I shall now deal with this impudent urchin. Give my best to your Wraiths, who I shall of course dispatch single-handedly should I meet them.

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