The Rules of "Tennis" -- Boston Public Forum

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Date Posted: 20:03:37 04/10/02 Wed
Author: Wakener
Subject: The Rules of "Tennis"
In reply to: Clare 's message, "Re: ...And then, there was Harry..." on 00:43:54 04/05/02 Fri

>>40-Love!
>>Why wouldn't you want to know?
>
>Because I'm not getting a straight answer. If it was
>something innocent then you wouldn't have any trouble
>explaining it in plain English.

You need me to tell you what an "answer" means in "tennis?"
GAME to Wakener!!!

Just so you know, that "I'll tell her" message was not from me, and the person who wrote it either doesn't know about the game, or misunderstood the context of the thread. Congratulations--you've just participated in your first game of "tennis." Of course, because you didn't know the rules, it doesn't count against you that you didn't come out the victor.

"Tennis" is a verbal game of wits. It is properly played in person (another reason this game can't count against you) because speed is a factor. I just couldn't resist a little fun. Hope you don't take it personally. The next time you're at a party, and somebody forgot to bring Taboo, Tri-Bond, Jenga, or, heaven forbid, UNO, you might want to give this one a try.

The object of "tennis" is to successfully answer questions with questions. You do this back and forth between 2 or 4 players on either side of the "court." A 4 player game is played like "doubles" in physical tennis. If a player fails to respond with an appropriate question, the point goes to the opposing player, with the same scoring pattern as conventional tennis, that is, 15 for the first, 30 for the second, 40 for the third, and then Game. During play, the first question of the volley is posed by the person who won the last point. Determining who gets the first service of the game is up to the participants (frequently, however, games begin when one lunkhead shouts out, "Hey! Anyone in here play `tennis?'" "Who wants ta know?!" And we're off...)

There are rules governing responses. Failing to conform to the rules loses the volley.

1. Responses must be swift! This is a game of fast thinking, much like the physical game is one of fast action. If it takes longer for you to come up with a counter-question than it might take for, say, a tennis ball to cross a court, then you miss. One or two seconds is it. But no getting into fights over whether a player took too long.

2. Responses must be a question. If you answer with a statement, grunt, interjection, et cetera, then you miss.

3. Non-sequiturs are not allowed. The question a player responds with must follow logically from the question the opponent asked. This is the toughest rule, but it prevents cheating by making players unable to "stockpile" unrelated questions. The question "Have you stopped beating your wife?" may be answered with "What makes you think I beat my wife?" or "Would you like to beat her instead?" It cannot be answered with "Isn't the weather lovely today?" or "Did you watch Boston Public on Monday?" Questions like "Can you recommend a better form of aerobic exercise?" or "Have you started feeding your dog?" are in that grey area. There's a connection that can be made, but it's a weak one. Either get an impartial judge or just go with whatever doesn't start a fight.

4. Cop-outs are not allowed. Questions like "How am I supposed to answer that?" "Why?" "Is that your question?" "Are you talking to me?" and similar questions tend to steer the game into the realm of cliche. Basically, they are "stockpile" questions, but can follow logically from the one just served. People argue about questions like "Do you think I should?" In some cases, it may be a cop-out, but in others, it may make perfect sense and be a fair return. YMMV. The general rule to keep it fun would apply in such a case. Warning, though--"Isn't this a fun game?" IS--is, is, is, is, is--considered a "fair" serve.

5. Questions cannot be repeated. Every response must be fresh. And yes, saying "cannot" one time, and "can't" another DOES constitute repetition. This is the second toughest rule, and one of the easiest to capitalize on, if you can steer them to a place where they have to respond much like they did earlier in order to avoid a non-sequitur. Substituting one word or phrase for another can count as repeating a question. If you asked "Do you like grapes?" then you may want to avoid "Do you like apples?" and if you happened to ask both without being called on it, "Do you like cherries" ought to cost you a point. On the other hand, some people would allow you to follow that up with "Do you like pina coladas?" because it's funny.

6. No "parroting." This is considered repetition. You can't fire back the same question that has been asked of you earlier in the game ("Do you like cherries?" "Do YOU like them?").

Be careful--a common careless error is to preface a response with a statement or interjection ("Would you mind if I kissed your sister?" "Yuck! Why would you want to do that?") ("Did you watch the news last night?" "No, was there something important on it?") Both of these responses are foul.

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Replies:

Re: The Rules of "Tennis" -- Clare, 20:52:51 04/10/02 Wed