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Subject: Re: TEARS FROM MY HEART


Author:
Akintiunde
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Date Posted: 09:03:45 12/30/02 Mon
In reply to: kengie 's message, "TEARS FROM MY HEART" on 14:24:23 12/28/02 Sat

The love poem is a difficult one. This is so because there are so many of them out there that it is almost impossible to make them fresh, which should not be confused with good, but then the good ones today are generally fresh and well constructed. The question the author of a love poem today has to ask is: "how does my love poem make it unique and stand out above all the other love poems that have been written and are being written."

On the whole this poem seems to be of the type, "I love you but you don't love me" or "you don't recognize me"

This poem has good moments, and therefore some potential. I recommend re-looking it seeking to find ways you might pare down, and seeking places where the agreement within the sentiment can be better aligned

"If winds could talk, they tell a tale that fills the
soul with love and warmth…"

should read "if winds could talk, they would..." for example.

Akintiunde

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