Re: To Linger -- Unicorn

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: [1], 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 13:32:55 03/19/04 Fri
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: dsl-80-46-138-67.access.uk.tiscali.com / 80.46.138.67
Subject: Re: To Linger
In reply to: AGS 's message, "To Linger" on 15:14:05 03/15/04 Mon

Beautifully written. I particularly liked the lines

'Forces my strained allegiance
to delve, the quarry; of innermost thought'

although I felt it was perhaps a little too long but that is just my opinion.

R ;)

>Allow me move,
>and toss; gently
>among these dominoes;
>
>the falling as if
>well flawed
>
>like subtle masterpieces, they are
>softly subjected to all
>
>their hidden corruptive;
>influences
>
>and, achievement, often
>easier than this
>
>As expected
>the spices; that woo
>coo
>curtsey
>
>said problems; they are
>
>that yearns, taints
>
>as any lingering,
>mystery; how miserable
>they know they are
>
>Set marks, and deep
>scars; they
>dwell so
>hidden; of that sought:
>
>tangle, every lying emotion:
>
>as crafted sticks
>that so neatly lies,
>
>the stacks my life
>
>and heights; shone
>glories, of difficulties
>
>frayed,
>taught
>
>and so the problem here,
>as else where
>
>Forces my strained allegiance
>to delve, the quarry; of innermost thought
>
>beg the removal
>
>To delved passages; and inner reasoning�s
>
>of bubbling, charming seas
>
>where the self
>taught, and what else -
>
>drifts, as all emotions -
>
>tangled, Recall,
>
>that stays unexpected
>as ingrown trees
>always, do and
>clouds my ways of
>inmost travel
>
>forces to portray
>all lives to
>you in symbols
>
>to nourish; as fallen sky
>
>It heaves, to declare de �
>
>light as cried; any woven
>stories, that light, pass;
>
>their inmost flames
>
>the spite;
>of the fires, agony and
>full of sky
>
>my connection, found deep
>asleep; they too wavering
>any foundation; that�s left
>as portals, windows, left open
>
>They shine in; warm breaths
>of confines
>
>hearts, that simply shown
>in some garment, like gown
>
>Thine own
>a gathering weary heart
>
>with power of presence felt
>to dwell, its clean sparkling harbors
>
>and waters, bright
>there felt
>
>swish, as untangled blue, sorted rose
>though; not, imagined
>
>being, felt, not really desired
>at all
>
>this laden
>a peak I dwell -
>
>munch this plate of salted, crackers well
>
>and bottle of mountain water,
>grown in Hell
>
>And stars as ground; do, must
>find their own
>level to clamor
>
>that worship to you sown
>this far; as gilded rafters -
>
>a sea of Pine there
>so close, to listen
>stare; the brisling trees
>
>now; may grow
>
>the cheating and the lying
>
>pebbles know
>heard, as foreboding chatter
>the ribs
>
>of hell; well rowed
>
>For any leaf of love
>foretells, as she
>sits counting, her flowers
>necks and leaves
>
>to sit weary; next to the hot stove
>gather the smell of plumage
>
>that is dwelling there,
>amidst a lit cover; that talks in clamoring,
>
>red dress she wears
>
>Rises at sunrise,
>
>to fetch, all her fruits
>and vegetables
>
>stilled inside, while
>watersl thin, stares, glances:
>
>me; till all thrusted, trusted
>shown
>
>Never my love, may love be
>trusted; though she coo you
>with her belches and cries
>
>as mountain snow,
>dangle here
>
>Peals foretells yells
>my own weariness; compliance
>to ring those hung bells
>
>of hells
>
>and any my forbidden
>
>the own blessed
>the undoing, as soaring rain
>
>She runs the gamut
>with little,
>refrain
>
>as soft,
>rains there too
>
>crystallize clover
>too much
>never allowed for birth
>
>runs withdrawn stems, that smile and curtsey
>and songs sung too
>so well rehearsed
>
>well the locks bristle
>thin sweeping gold
>as velvet trestle; so bold
>well woven, and never so hidden
>
>Allow me plots and schemes
>foremost, my wicked dreams
>
>hatch, which of thought
>tender desired
>
>the white veils compound
>a vacant minds, inebriation
>as high walls the turtle doves flight
>and clouds glowing, seeing
>
>as mere dreaded
>nest stalks
>
>And secrets float
>hold bewildered, any
>motion, that which folded
>its own serene blanket
>holds, holds the key
>to hanging locks
>
>Though soft
>the liberation, compounded
>caresses, that build dress
>the heart, spill
>
>Like the dash
>of the waterfall
>first drop it rill
>
>And sudden wide mouth of gravities
>wait and shouted
>for eager greatness
>and a new Master Card
>clutched
>bottom of hand
>
>surely I must credit myself
>
>hush critics afar like doves that listen
>other lands
>holded hands
>far as the token is molded
>
>The wave of that satin that drifts
>your eyes
>lingers in cries
>points to that which stolen
>
>Near, so previously, it bleeds, for seen
>as all conversation swallowed by others
>
>so much
>
>And sadness retold, that must
>dwell far worse the tender lay
>Of brick walls
>with well dry
>they running, why
>
>As any full yearning
>aches and drips
>
>Soft, like salt that fine melted
>top the clean pour us paper towel
>
>Tenderness left, brewed instead
>to walls that nay neglect her
>
>she sits ripe
>alone; rather
>solitarily, grown
>in this years weave of napkins
>
>And plotted hatched marbles
>Thrown at heaven

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]