Re: Into Ecstacy -- Unicorn

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Date Posted: 07:01:40 08/30/03 Sat
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: webcacheB05a.cache.pol.co.uk / 195.92.168.167
Subject: Re: Into Ecstacy
In reply to: Doghouse Reilly 's message, "Into Ecstacy" on 22:41:37 08/27/03 Wed

Welcome to Unicorn Doghouse. I apologise for not being able to welcome you and comment before but I have been abroad for the last couple of weeks and I guess it is holiday time for the others.

I liked the tightness of this poem and the smooth even pace, with no unnecessary words.

The last stanza adds a subtle depth to the poem and a poignant tone.

I look forward to reading the rest of your work. Please feel free to read and comment on the other posts here.

Raphaela

>The message is not always
>so subtle
>The vague crinkling around
>her eyes
>a curve at the corners
>of her mouth
>a tightening of her
>flesh as my fingertips
>touch her shoulders
>the arch of her back
>the swell of her buttocks.
>
>She sighs
>and I can see
>inside her mouth
>her clean white teeth
>and moist tongue.
>
>Her throat moves
>she makes a sound
>belly clenches
>breasts heave
>
>and a cold wind
>crashes against the tent
>as clear water crashes
>against stones
>surging into eddies
>sinking into pale sand
>
>and the smile fades
>as an illusion
>into ecstacy
>sadness
>despair

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Replies:

Re: Into Ecstacy -- Ashley Owen Smith, 11:27:42 08/30/03 Sat