Re: Phobic -- Unicorn

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Date Posted: 12:45:37 08/30/03 Sat
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: webcacheB07a.cache.pol.co.uk / 195.92.168.169
Subject: Re: Phobic
In reply to: Ashley Owen Smith 's message, "Phobic" on 11:42:51 08/30/03 Sat

Hi Ashley - I have been reading your poetry but must apologise for not yet commenting as I have been away and am just catching up.

If you had not given the reason for the inspiration of your poem, I would not have assumed that it was biographical but would have said that you certainly show a good insight into the nature of such conditions and the torment they can create.

I liked the way each endline of a stanza bled seamlessly into the next.

I think this poem deserves several re-readings to fully appreciate.

Thank you for sharing your talent with Unicorn.

Raphaela

>***I was recently diagnosed with social phobia and
>agoraphobia, and a poem....responded.***
>
>_________________________________________
>In the many-peopled room
>two worms of discontent
>test the depths of both heart
>and brain, and each writhes
>
>hotly in its own organic
>mess. The skin creeps and
>shifts, quivers fitfully under
>unrelenting watchfulness
>
>of unblinking eyes. Contorted
>smiles glare from distorted faces.
>My smile is sanity's epitaph.
>Therefore I shall gather flowers
>
>beneath my chin. And every
>minute is feebly grasped
>by the clock's arthritic hands.
>My hands shake and jerk,
>
>a fault line in each finger;
>mutilated cuticles, flayed fingernails:
>a social phobic's manicure.
>Each minute is a candle, a soaring monument
>
>of time and I must wait for
>each of them to burn in kind.
>(Now let me lay down
>with a claustrophobic's nightmare's
>
>demon and I shall find my paradise
>there.)
>
>aos

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Replies:

Re: Phobic -- Raphaela, 13:53:28 08/30/03 Sat