Re: A Ground Full Of Turtles -- Unicorn

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Date Posted: 11:35:29 11/13/03 Thu
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: webcacheB01a.cache.pol.co.uk / 195.92.168.163
Subject: Re: A Ground Full Of Turtles
In reply to: AAAGGGSSS 's message, "A Ground Full Of Turtles" on 16:17:07 11/06/03 Thu

I appreciated this more on a second reading and I think subsequent readings will reveal more delights. I like the way you set the scene and the imagery. At first I thought it may be too long and have lost something but on reflection I think I ended up wanting more!

I realise you may not be around for a bit but hope you start working on some prose - we need the short story forum livening up and I think you could do just that.

Did you post that poem you showed me the other night? I can't remember the title, just the content.

R :)

>one of my more famous pieces, though just written by
>like 3 people, I still feel it has "famous"
>possibilities, I think, well hope, something like that
>--
>
>It is called, A Ground Full of Turtles, for you
>reading pleasures, Al
>
>Your body so moist;
>tainted, and dark
>
>with shadows in rising
>like the stew, melted
>in the pot -
>
>so lean; in the
>mornning
>
>with windows open
>that remark:
>
>there isn't, enough
>food to eat
>
>and grumbles sifted
>like quaint heaps;
>
>Devastating,
>
>my world:
>
>Barren outside,
>and cold;
>where skinny trees grow
>and wisps of leafs
>afraid
>with poor eye sight
>to leave
>
>but cling as the stubbs
>of grasses, and all
>the invisible:
>
>particles present,
>there, for mercies
>glow; it low
>
>The great uprising of the land sea and
>water; to hear
>
>faint distant ruminations
>near, and the fountains
>to glow all liquid
>as inner,
>
>the fibers
>
>The night so optical
>and faint
>an illusion
>has breath
>
>like spiders
>that flurry so
>the neighbors surrounding
>and heaps of leaves
>that we must
>retrieve
>
>cast upon the hole;
>buried
>
>I see you in the distance walk
>talk of items
>misplaced
>and distant
>puffs
>
>of blueness
>
>clouds,
>arrayed
>on the horizon
>
>like teams of mules
>to wander oasis'
>sounds -
>
>a land I'd care
>to enter
>there
>midst walls
>of gowns
>
>so golden
>upon the stakes
>so olden
>
>sun shall always
>be in my eyes
>and latches shut
>to what wanders outside
>
>in airs with eyes
>and flocks of birds
>all misspoken
>
>the path of clean soil
>rewoven
>
>and turtles
>that litter
>the ground

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