VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 12[3]45678910 ]


[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 22:07:23 02/15/03 Sat
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: webcacheB07a.cache.pol.co.uk / 195.92.168.169
Subject: Re: Autumn
In reply to: Gemini 's message, "Autumn" on 13:18:02 02/13/03 Thu

It is good to see you writing again Gem and especially sharing it with Unicorn.

A clever use of the metaphor in the first stanza. The slow steady rhythm of that first stanza constrasts sharply with the second. The use of punctuation and pronouns add the emphasis and give the whole poem a greater depth and transition from the cause to the effect.

However, that single rhetorical question on its own has a somewhat optimistic note, which I like.

Keep writing Gem and hopefully we will see some fulfilled poems soon.

Raphaela


>Autumn
>
>The fallen leaves around my feet,
>Shrivelling memories of life past,
>Each unconnected, without theme,
>The space between growing evermore.
>
>Love! You pulsing vein of rising sap,
>Where are you in these felled remains?
>Your surging force that came before,
>Drained, wilted, crumpled, - died.
>
>Ever will your kiss again revive?
>
>
>Gemini 13th February 2003

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]


Replies:


Post a message:
This forum requires an account to post.
[ Create Account ]
[ Login ]
[ Contact Forum Admin ]


Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.