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Date Posted: 14:03:56 02/22/03 Sat
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: webcacheB07a.cache.pol.co.uk / 195.92.168.169
Subject: Re: Abduction
In reply to: Shakira Siempre 's message, "Abduction" on 13:07:52 02/22/03 Sat

Strong words and imagery my poetic friend yet also cleverly written.

I like the strong tone and the use of personal pronouns to engage the reader.

The juxtopositioning of the imagery reads well and the shocking effect is more than justified.

It shows how times influence our style of writing - so different from the innocent words that used to inspire you.

Raphaela

p.s. will add that link


> >bgcolor="#FF3300" link="#ff0000">
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> >src="http://www.nga.gov/image/a0000f/a0000f51.jpg">
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>Abduction
>By: Noah Eaton
>2/8/03
>
>Momma slowly hangs up the phone, quivering
>Mushroom clouds of sulfur fill her mind
>Uncle Sam's evil twin cousin is knocking on my window
>Black storks descending to take their babies tonight...
>
>Listen, the screen door slams, Hey Son, have I got
>news for you!
>Her veins from her hand trembling, gone red to blue
>Those same hands she used to nurture and feed her kids
>These same hands will be empty now, how will she take
>this?
>
>Call yourself Abduction
>Call yourself Blasphemy
>Call yourself AUTODAFE
>Who will account for the frost heaving?
>While you're in your neck of the wood pretending
>you're breathing?
>Meanwhile, I'll just keep standing my ground
>Watching the mothers tidy pre-made beds
>Stirring ladles in chicken soup for the usurped soul
>Victims of this invisible abduction
>Victims of this shame...
>
>Biscuits and gravy are lying on the kitchen table
>The last meal she will see her son eat before he goes
>She swears that psalm on her china plate will remain
>her leitmotif
>But the sunlight it reflects lacks the birefringence
>she thought she'd keep
>
>How does it feel to have incalary days?
>How does it feel if you can really feel these birth
>pangs?
>So why need all of this circumscription?
>If you want this damn thing so bad, why don't you come
>and get it?
>
>Call yourself Abduction
>Call yourself Blasphemy
>Call yourself AUTODAFE
>Who will account for the frost heaving?
>While you're in your neck of the wood pretending
>you're breathing?
>Meanwhile, I'll just keep standing my ground
>Watching the mothers tidy pre-made beds
>Stirring ladles in chicken soup for the usurped soul
>Victims of this invisible abduction
>Victims of this shame...
>
>The instance I read the autoinoculation in the news
>today
>Was the second I came down with the sickness
>The instance I saw the thieves running through my
>neighborhood
>I found myself already behind the portcullis...
>
>But I dare not say what I think you're going to say
>Gerrymandling on your abridged interpretations of the
>agenda
>Ghostwriting with scholars you've never shaken hands
>with
>Playing chess with a ghost that only wants an armistice
>
>Here's Allegro to resemble the shackles of innocence
>Here's Adagio to assert the red vultures of pestilence
>Here's Andante to reveal behind the cloaks the real
>idiots
>Here's Presto to place blame on the ransoms you
>permit...
>
>Call yourself Abduction
>Call yourself The Tragedian
>Call yourself Gethsemane
>Who will account for the frost heaving?
>While you're in your neck of the wood pretending
>you're breathing?
>Meanwhile, I'll just keep standing my ground
>Watching the mothers tidy pre-made beds
>Stirring ladles in chicken soup for the usurped soul
>Victims of this invisible abduction
>Victims of this wicked game...
>
>

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