Re: Strange Angel -- Unicorn

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Date Posted: 02:45:17 03/02/03 Sun
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: webcacheB06a.cache.pol.co.uk / 195.92.168.168
Subject: Re: Strange Angel
In reply to: Rafa�l 's message, "Re: Strange Angel" on 01:57:09 03/02/03 Sun

Thank you for taking the time to comment and I appreciate the constructive criticism. You make very valid points. I am afraid I wrote this at 4 am and should have probably read through before posting.

I have enjoyed reading the quality of your poems and hope you will post more.

Raphaela

>Raphaela,
>
>I like the context in which you use your imagery here
>the line breaks seem to work well too.
>It seems to me that you might have pondered some of
>the phrasing a little more in some places which
>reflects
>in the transition as the piece is traversed by the
>reader,
>the contrasting choppy style with its additional
>brevity
>in the closing few breaths adds resolve and concludes
>well.
>
>Also thanks for your comments on my previous
>postings.
>
>Regards
>
>Rafa�l
>
>
>
>
>
>
>>Strange Angel
>>
>>Rich incense-laden air
>>sweet scented
>>permeating everywhere
>>
>>No answer found
>>at the bottom of a bottle
>>
>>Tear-stained face
>>tired dark eyes
>>
>>Looking up to see
>>your shadow
>>strange and grey
>>
>>Huge lustful eyes
>>looking down
>>to where I lay
>>
>>You lifted me way up high
>>where the air was fresh
>>and clean and dry
>>
>>Wrapped me up
>>within your wings
>>grey and tatty
>>a halo slipped
>>
>>Dried my tears
>>restored my smile
>>
>>Gave me hope
>>to live a while
>>
>>Strange angel
>>my saviour
>>a special friend
>>I found in you
>>
>>2 March 2003

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