Re: Unheard -- Unicorn

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Date Posted: 14:59:59 03/09/03 Sun
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: webcacheB03a.cache.pol.co.uk / 195.92.168.165
Subject: Re: Unheard
In reply to: Rafa�l 's message, "Unheard" on 16:02:49 03/07/03 Fri

I couldn't have picked a better title at this time.

Strong visual imagery 'Sinew torn bare is warm when open raw'.

The 3 single lines work well and add emphasis 'In death no voice is heard the same', the last line being particularly strong and poignant.

The line 'more pity those with eyes' becomes the more profound when you wonder if they cannot see the inevitable.

Well written as ever.

Raphaela

>Unheard
>
>
>
>Their tongues glistening overshadowed
>by light absorbed regardlessly.
>assuming wisdom implied of bearing gifts
>so truly sold on behalf of the weak.
>
>To begin the sky begins to burn.
>
>Sinew torn bare is warm when open raw
>divide when gifts before
>coerced this pain resides within its fear
>each tear will not suffice an honesty.
>
>In death no voice is heard the same.
>
>When it falls this rain will fall indeed
>more pity those with eyes
>your blood to hold all those you love
>be gone from heart the pain is weak.
>
>A breath fades faint and then is gone.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>.

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