Re: Poem Beside Me -- Unicorn

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, [3], 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 13:11:23 05/11/03 Sun
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: webcacheB01a.cache.pol.co.uk / 195.92.168.163
Subject: Re: Poem Beside Me
In reply to: Me 's message, "Poem Beside Me" on 06:24:38 05/10/03 Sat

I really liked this poem - strong messages supported by good imagery. Particularly liked the line 'The sounds of the words are whispering shadows' - the alliteration worked well and the metaphor conjured up all kinds of images for me. I also like the way that stanza develops. The poem for me has depth and I enjoying wondering about certain ideas and images.

The line 'And hated it's nothingness' - there is no need for an apostrophe there - so should just read 'its'.

I seem to recognise the style - do I know 'Me' ? :)

If not a regular under a different name - welcome to Unicorn and hope to hear more from you - please feel free to comment on the other posts.

Raphaela

>Poem Beside Me
>
>Hello.
>I'm autistic and schizophrenic.
>So don't talk to me,
>That'll make you suspect.
>
>The sounds of the words are whispering shadows,
>Stirred in the water like pepper,
>Like ashes...
>Magic unnoticed.
>
>I know the meaning of life,
>I know the secret of matter,
>And I know the trick of the
>Contrary dichotomy.
>
>I am everyone.
>And everyone is one,
>One God.
>
>I speak to you
>Each moment,
>Argue with your pettiness,
>Greedy fool...
>Yes, greed and selfishness,
>You want to live!
>Longer...
>
>Curious.
>
>The wind stirs,
>Spins leaves into feathers,
>Teases the memory
>Of all that once was,
>Making martyrdom.
>
>Everything was nothing,
>And hated it's nothingness,
>Split with it's hate
>Into two...
>Me and you.
>Knowing?
>
>Does it hurt because we are wrong?
>Or, because pain makes us suffer?
>And suffering isn't lonely?
>
>God was angry and lonely,
>So he made evil, he made man,
>And relished the tragedy.
>
>Such curiousity,
>You ignorant newborn,
>You with the beautiful eyes,
>Can you find me?
>
>I am light,
>I am sorrow,
>With my love...
>A minor interest,
>A tomorrow unknown.
>
>Yes, unknown...
>You, with the personality
>And features.
>
>-Me

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]