Re: Puddle of Tears -- Unicorn

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Date Posted: 13:51:19 08/30/02 Fri
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: webcacheM03b.cache.pol.co.uk / 195.92.194.13
Subject: Re: Puddle of Tears
In reply to: Fenira 's message, "Puddle of Tears" on 12:37:33 08/29/02 Thu

Welcome to Unicorn Fenira - and I certainly look forward to reading more of your work.

This poem was both moving, yet powerful. I liked the extended metaphor and the salt of the tears also symbolically represents the corrosive element of a relationship. These lines reinforce that :

'I almost offered my shoulder for comfort
But then I realized that I�m the one
Who did this to you'

It is painful when we hurt the ones we love and this poem shows that well.

Raphaela

>August 28, 2002
>
>
>PUDDLE OF TEARS
>
>As I follow the salt water�s path
>From your stream-carved face
>To the mini-ocean on the ground,
>I measure your daily precipitation rising.
>Disillusioned at the speed,
>I trip heels-over-head
>To land face first
>Into your puddle of tears.
>Your sorrow tastes bitter.
>Bailing in a wave of sympathy,
>My heart does a quantam leap
>Into the present future/past.
>I almost offered my shoulder for comfort
>But then I realized that I�m the one
>Who did this to you.

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