Re: Captain Lynch's Storm -- Unicorn

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, [6], 7, 8, 9, 10 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 13:28:54 08/07/02 Wed
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: webcacheB10a.cache.pol.co.uk / 195.92.168.172
Subject: Re: Captain Lynch's Storm
In reply to: Megan 's message, "Captain Lynch's Storm" on 17:16:00 08/05/02 Mon

Well done - you managed to maintain the rhythm and rhyme and with the repetition of "Onward, men! Onward, ho!" in its various forms, this served as a chorus. This reminded me of the old ballads which were very popular and passed on through songs.

Just a punctuation point - you don't need an apostrophe in "its" here:

In it's rage the ocean did swell

Raphaela

>Captain Lynch was captain of the sea
>not one failed voyage; all would agree
>Captain Lynch was proud as any man could be.
>On the morn of a voyage, he cried to his crew:
>"We will be triumphant! Any less will not do!"
>
>The vessel was ready, the keel in place
>men worked in unison, with style, with grace:
>all thinking about challenges soon to be faced
>when Captain Lynch called, his face all aglow:
>"Onward, men! Onward, ho!"
>
>A fortnight passed, then two, then three
>always clear weather: not a storm to be seen;
>then sky blackened quickly, and so did the sea.
>Then Captain Lynch said, his face white as snow:
>"Onward, still men! Onward, ho!"
>
>In it's rage the ocean did swell:
>wind shrieking, tolling the knell,
>through the turbulance the Captain did yell
>as the vessel did sway to and fro:
>"Onward, I say! Onward, ho!"
>
>Men standing strong, though some were lost
>Some went overboard while the ship tossed;
>Hopes raised, fingers crossed;
>And still Captain Lynch cried, loud and slow:
>"Onward! Onward! Onward, ho!"
>
>Many men injured, but forced to press on
>Yet Captain Lynch, in his fury, staying strong
>Daring any man to come forth, to prove him wrong
>That this was not the right way to go,
>"Onward!" He bellowed, "Onward, ho!"
>
>Soon clouds parted and rain ceased;
>Men stunned: they had beaten this beast;
>They were triumphant to say in the least!
>Yet Captain Lynch was nowhere to be found,
>Until someone spotted him, dead on the groud.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]