Re: Cupids Pleasure Garden -- Unicorn

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Date Posted: 14:21:04 08/11/02 Sun
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: webcacheB11a.cache.pol.co.uk / 195.92.168.173
Subject: Re: Cupids Pleasure Garden
In reply to: Shakira Siempre 's message, "Cupids Pleasure Garden" on 01:29:29 07/29/02 Mon

Great to see you again Noah (and I think we still have an unfinished duet somewhere?) - I love the image you have imported, livens the old Unicorn's glade up.

You have used some deliciously rich imagery - descriptions that conjur up such visions - love this line 'Stars are lantern-bobbing like sugar plum fairies in single file' and 'Swarms of butterflies form in clouds, modeling walnut veneer wings'.

Although I do see Al's point and agree - whilst savouring the beautiful imagery - I was 'waiting for it to happen' and although this is hinted at towards the end, it perhaps needs to be stated a little more obviously earlier in the poem - just my thoughts.

Hope to see more from you.

Raphaela

> >src="http://mysteriasmuse.netpoets.net/graphics/General
>/Poetry/Lisa%20Jane%20Sweet%20Dreams.jpg">
>
>Cupids Pleasure Garden
>By: Noah Eaton
>4/8/02
>
>In May the rain begins to laugh out loud
>By June the light begins to breathe
>And I am organizing a curtain call for my dreams
>On the amphitheater of Mother Nature, I begin to sing
>
>Stars are lantern-bobbing like sugar plum fairies in
>single file
>Poplars bask with autumn leaves, the meadows gleam
>with oriental poppies
>Evening shadows grace the skies like some Fritz
>Schooner lithograph
>I suckle this citron of the lemon tree for happiness,
>for long life I eat this peach
>
>Down beside his stream I chant the mysterious tunes of
>Gu Qin
>I cross my legs and hear the birds warble, resting
>myself like the Bodhisattva of Compassion
>I suckle the ripening tea of dawn, like its some
>exclusive flavor of Celestial Seasonings
>Three plenties swim inside my head, watching children
>laugh in amazement
>
>Swarms of butterflies form in clouds, modeling walnut
>veneer wings
>Blushing against a golden barley cirrocumulus sky
>All I need now is a rainmaker to clear away this
>drought
>And so I play the wooden flute to summon the storm
>tonight
>
>Spring can be heard from a wishing well
>Spring echoes on from every conch shell
>Take a vacation to cupids pleasure garden
>And strum the blues to your lover tonight... >color>

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Replies:

Re: Cupids Pleasure Garden -- Tony ¦:¬{, 00:24:14 08/12/02 Mon

Re: Cupids Pleasure Garden -- Tony ¦:¬{, 11:31:22 08/13/02 Tue