Re: Dreaming Again -- Unicorn

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Date Posted: 11:33:21 06/18/02 Tue
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: webcacheB10a.cache.pol.co.uk / 195.92.168.172
Subject: Re: Dreaming Again
In reply to: IcyHeart 's message, "Dreaming Again" on 05:02:58 06/15/02 Sat

A poignant lament which would work well set to music.

The Chablis is perfect but not sure about the drinks in the next line

'Kisses as intoxicating as coke and 151 rum'

I love the first three words but I think you lose the flow with the rum and coke - realise these may be more personal to you but perhaps it can be rearranged - rum-flavoured kisses intoxicate .... etc

Just a thought.

Much enjoyed and I am sure many readers will identify with the frustrated sense of longing in this poem.

Raphaela

>Dreaming Again
>
>Dreaming of a life that will never be
>I close my eyes trying to sleep but sleep won�t come
>For I fear that thru death will I only be free
>
>In dream filled nights my ladylove lies with me
>It is the way, it has to be but it makes my mind numb
>Dreaming of a life that will never be
>
>In visions of splendor we lie in the shade of the trees
>As upon my heart strings you so easily strum
>For I fear that thru death will I only be free
>
>With lips that taste like world class Chablis
>Kisses as intoxicating as coke and 151 rum
>Dreaming of a life that will never be
>
>As in my dreams, in my life you are the key
>Are dreams of us, my life�s total sum
>For I fear that thru death will I only be free
>
>Dreaming of a life that will never be
>For I fear that thru death will I only be free
>Maybe to my dreams I should succumb
>And listen to the cries of the banshee
>
>� IcyHeart
>06/15/02

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Replies:

Re: Dreaming Again -- icyheart, 03:50:49 06/19/02 Wed