The letter from Dicci Elgre -- Flambers Drugstore

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, [3], 4, 5, 6, 7 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: Sun, April 04 2004, 11:02:35
Author: Todd
Subject:

The letter from Dicci Elgre

The Manager
Intercontinental Hotel
Helsinki

Roma 28 July 1998
Dear Signore Direttore,

Now I am tella you story wot I was a-treated at your hotella. I am a-comma from Roma to Helsinki and stay a-younga christian man at your hotella.
When I comma in my room I see no shit in the bed.
-How can I sleep with no shit in my bed? So I calla down to receptione and tella:�I want shit�.
They tella me:�Go to toilet!�
I say: �No, no I wanna shit in my bed.
� They say: � You�d better not shit in your bed, you sonna-wa-bitch!
�What is sonna-wa-bitch?

I go down for breakfast into the restorante. I order bacon and egga and two pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and point at toast: �I wanta piss!� She tella me: �Go to toilet!� I say: �No, I wanta piss on my plate!� She then say to me: �You�d bloody wella not piss on the plate, you sonna-wa-bitch!!�That is the second person who do not know me, calla me �sonna-wa-bitch�, is that a modern tella? I do not understanda, please tella me!

Later I go for dinner in your restorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but no fock. I tella waitress: �I wanta fock!� And she tella me: �Sure, everyone wanta fock!� I tella her: �No, no, I wanta fock on the table!� She tella me: �So you, sonna-wa-bitch, wanta fock on the table? Get your ass out of here!

�How comma this christian hotella guest in such bed manner?So I got to receptione and ask for a bill. I no wanta stay in this hotel no more . When I have paid the a-billa, the porter in say to me: �Thank you, and piss on you!� I say: �Piss on you too, you sonna-wa-bitch, I now go back to Italy!

�Dirrettore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no more, you sonna-wa-bitch.

Sincerely,
Dicci Elgre.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

I heard the sound version of this letter -- Katerina, Mon, April 05 2004, 4:23:42