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Date Posted: Mon, May 12 2003, 6:51:00
Author: Katerina
Subject: Show off or little Internet lies.(the first part)

The second part of this topic I'll translate some time later.

Chuchundra(Russia)

I came across with a widespread phenomenon, always surprising me a bit. Yes, people in the Internet often make up the things they don't have in real life: upgrade an auto, increase the number of husbands and the income. They create a legend and keep it up as real scouts. No, nothing wrond with it, they may have their fun. But sometimes those people, deliberately or undeliberately show their Internet writngs to the acquaintances, who perfectly know that, for example, the character XX has no Mercedes but describes it in many topics, the character ZZ is single but speaks about his family life. Several times I played a role of such an acquaintance. Yesterday on one of the forums I read the opus from a similar cycle. Well, a character made up a few details about himself, so what: ignore and forget. But I always have an uneasy feeling because of that. As if I saw them making something bad.. And it is also uneasy to contact these people in real life, because they know that I know about their throwing dust in their virtual companions. They shouldat least to mask themselves. I will never talk in the forum that I have a Jaguar and my own luxurious flat. How I will look in the eyes of Lilit and Ponochka after that? But some people don't worry about it. The question is why the fans of throwing dust in the eyes don't mask themselves? To avoid the companions from any superfluous conjectures I'll say that on this forum there are no window dressers, inspired me to write this opus.

Lilit(Russia)
IMHO, I think that when your acquaintances, creating a legend, give you a link to the forum, they think that you won't trait them. IMHO you must tell them that you don't like it and if they embroider their circumstances or properties, let them not to draw you in that forum.

Ponochka(Ukraine)

Who knows? Ask them yourself? I am too lazy to tell lies, I can hide some details I don't like but no desire to make up sometning non-existent even among absolutely unknown people.I feel laziness. It is stupid. Waste my forces. I have nothing to be ashamed of. And if I start to lie, I will be ashamed. When they catch me on lies, who believes me then? But I can understand such people. Sometimes I am asked about husband or boyfriend with such a tone that to tell lie is simpler.

Sue(USA)

Take it easy. There is no "code of an Internet user" that demands to tell "the truth, the truth and nothing but the truth". Your acquaintances don't do anything immoral and/or illegal.

Kivi(Ukraine)

Maybe they don't take virtual lies seriously and consider it as a joke? Or maybe forget about their lies? I had a friend, a pathological liar, who could, without blinking her eyes, to tell absolutely phantastic version of some events(when I was a witness too and knew that it was not true). I never understood that. When I lie myself, I' always try not to be caught up with it.

Ponochka

Sue, and what if in real company your real acquaintance began to say the things that are not true and you knew about it? I am disgusted with it. My classmate in 13 liked to speak about her sexual victories. It was pathetic.

Hare(Germany)

IMHO, many people lie to attract attention, cause admiration, etc. I was a pathological liar in my childhood. I wanted people to love me. In a result, naturally, it turned out only worse.

Sue

a) I am not responcible for my acquaintance and b) I am not a judge for her. While her stories about her sexual adventures don't hurt anybode(for example she does not tell that she sleeps with the husband of our common friend twice a week), she can speak what she wants.

Kivi

Does it mean that you don't care what she is speaking about at all? And what is the sense of such communications?

Orchid(Russia)
And I like to listen to lies very much, knowing that they are lies. :) It is interesting and unusual. Everybody tells truth. And when I know that somebody is lying, I feel so important and considerable. I won't tell anybody about it but can imply that to a liar: it is interesting to notice her rection.

Sue
Kiwi, to lie, to tell the truth, to keep silence is her and only her personal choice. And the question "what is the sense" [to make this choice] concerns her and only her personally.

Spark(Russia)

I have the similar with Orchid reaction. When I know or guess that a person is lying, I have a great interest to him. Why, what for is he lying? How and what about is he lying? Maybe he is a creative nature, an artist of his own life? Maybe a spy? Has psychological problems? It is incredibly interesting. It is because I think that to lie is naturally. Although I lie seldom and I am afraid to lie a lot. It is because I think I don't have enough talent and I will be caught.

Chuchundra

Lilit wrote:
> I think that when your acquaintances, creating a legend, give you a link to the forum, they think that you won't trait them. IMHO you must tell them that you don't like it and if they embroider their circumstances or properties, let them not draw you in that forum.

There was no drawing me in, they only showed me one discussion and then I read a few others. And I can't tell a man face to face: "If you are lying, mask yourself", it is not easy for me. For the same reason I can't bluntly ask them the same question, that is why I ask respectable assembly.

Spark, for me one thing is to catch up a virtual character on little lies(when I can put up all the contradictions of the legend) and another to find a real acquaintance behind a transparent virtual mask. That is a big difference for me.

Sue

Of course that is a big difference. If you catch the contradictions in the legend, it's a fair game. If you use additional information(real acquaintance) - it is unfair.

Chuchundra

Sue, if wishes were horses...if a grandmother had balls who she were? The fact is that we don't know each other in reality and not much chances to get acquainted, and your question is subjunctive.

Orchid

Chuchundra and why are you so sensitive to this matter?

Chuchundra

Sue wrote:
If you use additional information(real acquaintance) - it is unfair. .

Well, I don't use it but in reality I feel uneasy. It is like to speak with a respectable man I ocassionally saw in women's pink underwear. It is his business, his personal right, but, sorry, somehow i don't like it.

Andromeda(USA)

Making up roles? And so what? At high school almost everybody thinks: to be an actor, how it is? Some people made their careers by living in the roles. Others don't need it to such an extent. There are virtual games where everybody leads his parallel virtual life.For some people the experience is harmful, for others it treats. It is their business. I wouldn't care whether somebody lies or tells the truth.

Chuchundra(Russia)

Well, making up roles is a bit another thing. In the Internet one can be even a Chinese. But when in the topic about family relations some character seriously speaks about her spouse and there are living witnesses that she is not married, it is already not a virtual game. It is a lie.

Natasha(USA)

Lies...How rude. One can think that somebody borrowed money from you and promised to return it tomorrow, knowing that he won't. And maybe that is a fantasy? An Internet game? Maybe a man in his soul lives hundreds of lives, playing one or another role? Is everybody sure that his own image that he sees himself corresponds with the person he really is and moreover with the person other people consider him to be? I think everything that a man speaks about himself, everything is the truth.

Andromeda(USA)

And so what? No husband, and why it is not a role? A person models a situation he has not lived yet. And so? To be honest, everybody is lying a bit to some an extent. M. is sensible in the Internet and in reality he is careless because he does not have time to thinks too much. I think we should accept this Internet feature as a fact and not as an insult. We communicate with created images in created world. Alike but different.


Chuchundra

Andromeda. once again: everybody have a right to make up 10 husbands and 600 Mercedeses, but I think they shouldn't do that at the presense of witnesses. By the way, once in the real conversation I came across such a situation, when a girl said to her opponents "My parents are ambassadors and who you are: the children of engineers!" And her parents were engineers too. I am speaking about absolutely serious legends.

Atall(Russia)

Chuchundra, that is true. If they embroider their life to look better than they are, such characters cause bewilderment. They raise their self-assessment.

Sue

As my favourite teacher says: "What are your losses?" It turnes out that somehow "a composer" is guilty before "a witness". Explain me, please, what is the problem of the witness"? That his wish "to expose" changes from a figurative itch into a usual dermal itch? To suppress it he should spent a tube of Hidrocortizonum that costs ...dollars.


Katerina(Russia)

What is wrong with it? Does anybody swear always tell the truth in the Internet? They create images and play roles, why not? We don't know their reasons but it is only their personal business.

Chuchundra

I several times said what my losses are. I can say it again in other words but then you will ask me about my losses again in other words and it will be an endless cycle.

Tigger(Russia)

Some people, having a model of the world in their head, transfer this model to others. They don't have enough fantasy to place themselves in other circumstances, to look at the situation with the eyes of others. It is very typical for infantile persons and also for those who never heard of compassion and sympathy. A man has a right not only dream/aka "lie" in the Internet but also stay anonymous.


Natalia(Russia)

Yes, a man can dream(lie) not only in the Internet but also in real life and nobody puts him in jail to my knowledge. But somehow other people are amazed. Some kind of lies I would consider as incorrect methods of discussion. For example, I have a definite model of children's up-bringing, homework relations with husband and at the same time a brilliant career. Ladies, trying to combine all this, speak about objective difficulties they faced with. Then I join the discussion and say that it is nonsense, there are no difficulties, and I myself... And in real life I don't have a family, hungry roaches are walking in my flat and my career achievement is a senior assistant of a junior dishwasher.


Buckwheat(Russia)

And I thought that if they lie about their family status, they hide their spouses to start a romance: as if they all are single and free macho and sex-bombs. And nobody says about his wife and two children or a man with ulcer and a daughter in the 8th grade because they want to look younger and not to scare off girls and young men.

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