| Subject: Re: what is true love? |
Author:
Eugene
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Date Posted: 22:59:19 03/31/03 Mon
In reply to:
sadgirl
's message, "what is true love?" on 16:04:40 03/31/03 Mon
Dear Sadgirl,
I think you have asked the essential question here: What is true love?
Dr. M. Scott Peck pointed pointed out the "What seems to be love is often not love at all." I think that is why people oftne feel that relationships are hard and complicated. We are often going after something that is somehow like love, but we can't really know what love is.
I like Dr. Peck's definition of love a lot: "Love can be defined as the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth." This growth is not getting someone to go to church every Sunday and memorize the Bible. Nor is this growth something superficial like getting someone to stop burping in public (well, not exactly growth, but an improvement I won't mind, since noisy eaters really bugs me:-).
In fact, I don't think the "form" of this growth is as impotant as the motivation behind this growth. You know that people will act out "growth" for many reasons. For example, your boyfriend (I suppose that is what "bf" means) may do something to make you feel that your relationship is growing so that, well, you would keep going to bed with him. Sometimes later, he may exhibit "growth" (doing housework, for example) so that you will not nag him. When you are happy about "helping" him in growing, he is probably forced to constantly weighing the "reward" of looking like growing. Is this the most you can expect out of love?
In my personal faith, I believe that God is love (vice love is god). God utterly extended Himself on the cross to us, so that we may grow, and that we may be moved to growth by the very nature of growth -- life. God's love makes his gift of life complete in us.
Everytime we grow, we should feel the freedom as if we are using our limbs for the first time. In this, even the growing pain is joyful.
But when love is merely a counterfeit, even the essence behind your temporary joy is ultimately painful.
And I hope you will one day not be sad anymore.
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