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Date Posted: 15:23:25 05/31/03 Sat
Author: Remoré
Subject: Futility

Futility

The mountain seemed to laugh, its sound falling over me in a cacaphony of derision at my weakness. My legs turned to jelly as my feet slid one inch closer to the edge, my liver was water as I saw my fate open before me like some gaping maw. My gloved hands, torn and shredded, tried vainly to hold on as my weight pulled me down, my body being its own instrument of destruction. My eyes flickered left and right, up and down, looking for escape, looking for salvation. I slid another inch, my knees scraping and screaming in torment, my lungs burn as I try to breath the dust that comes into my nose, filling my mouth with its dry, arid feeling. My elbows are bloody, the tendrils of red mixing with the dirt to make a puddle of effluence around my arms, my own blood helping to lubricate my destruction. My legs hang out, over the abyss, kicking futiley for some handhold I knew would not appear, only helping to pull me farther ff my narrow ledge, my hope, my only chance. My eyes flicker again and again toward a small bush a mere foot above me, hoping against hope I reach out, onlt to fall short of it by mere inches. As if the mountain were being cheated of its prize, it rained down on me. The clear sky became full of rocks and debris, seeming to attack my precarious position on the ledge, trying to end it. And to my chagrin, I started to think, Why not end it here? Why not let the pain go and just sleep? I caught myself at this last thought and harshly brought myself back to reality. I will not die here, in this forsaken cliff. I will live to see my family again, to see my friends again, to see the sun rise yet again. Fighting against gravity, I reached my arm out, my other arm pressing down on the scree to grab for purchase, to that bush again. Somehow fixing it in my mind that if I reached that then everything would be all right, that somehow I would be able to just get up and walk away. With a grasp of triumph and a cough as the dirt invaded my lungs, I reached the bush. My arm now a firebrand of pain at the misuse it was being put through. My eyes widen at the thought that i might yet live and my legs stop thier futile churning at the crisp mountain air. My heart seems to stop, I have a hope. Pulling gently, I start to raise myself up to the bush, seeing a path out of this situation I am in. Stopping suddenly i see that one root has been pulled up. Sweat comes anew on my brow at this, but I cannot stop. Pulling gently again, I regained a few precious inches to the ledge of safety up ahead, only to stop short as the bush is now held in by only a few roots. My eyes water and my mouth works in a silent prayer at this chance that is rapidly fading. My mouth tries to work the syllables in the prayer, but it is too dry, and seems to be full of my swolen tongue already. Summoning my courage, I pull at the bush again, pushing with my legs and my elbows to help facilitate it, only to fall screaming in horror as the roots snap. My feet churn the air again as I lose all sense of purchase and start the plummet. The air whipping my hair around my eyes, which are stunned in bisbeleif and anger at the injustice of it, the fact that I was now going to die and could do nothing about it. Still falling, I looked up, my senses dazed, my heart racing faster than it ever had before,i saw the ledge that had claimed my life rapidly dwindling overhead, seeeming to mock me as I saw the small form of the bush also falling, almost seeming to be spit from that maw into the new one I was plummeting into. Closing my eyes, the air almost felt as down does, soft and luxurious. Putting me to sleep. I opened my eyes to look west, I saw the last rays of the setting sun falling, just as I am falling. The ground rushes at me, the wind screams in my ears, then all goes black.

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